The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

264 Chapter 8

Markiewicz, & Doyle, 2009). Despite the fact

that women engage in more self-disclosure

with friends compared to men (a sex difference

that will be discussed in more depth in a few

pages), both women and men spend a substan-

tial amount of time in casual conversation with

their friends (Wright, 2006).

Women and men may differ in how im-

portant they perceive a feature of a friendship

to be, but they often agree on which attributes

of a relationship are more or less important.

One study asked men and women to rate the

importance of affective skills (comforting one

another, making a person feel good about

himself or herself) and instrumental skills

(entertaining one another, casual conversa-

tions, conveying information) for a high qual-

ity same-sex friendship (Burleson et al., 1996).

Women rated the affective aspects as more

important than men did, and men rated the

instrumental aspects as more important than

women did. Aha, differences again! But both

men and women agreed that the affective as-

pects of friendship were more important than

the instrumental aspects of friendship. Other

Both men and women are more likely to

respond negatively to men compared to

women sharing a problem. Hmmm ... and

we wonder why it is that men are less likely

to self-disclose?

Much of the research on the nature of

friendship in the United States has focused

on White middle-class children, college stu-

dents, and adults. Sex differences seem to

be larger among White men’s and women’s

friendships compared to those of other races

(Way, Becker, & Greene, 2006).

Sex Similarities

Despite these differences, there are impor-

tant similarities between women’s and men’s

friendships. One way in which women’s and

men’s friendships are similar is in terms of what

women and men want from a friend. Both men

and women want a friend who is trustwor-

thy, a source of support, and a source of fun

and relaxation (Fehr, 2000). Men and women

are equally likely to perceive themselves as

similar to their friends (Linden-Andersen,

FIGURE 8.3 Men’s and women’s responses to a friend’s problems in the

Basow & Rubenfeld (2003) study.

Likelihood of Use

5.00

4.50

4.00

3.50

3.00

2.50

2.00

1.50

1.00

Message Type

Change

the Subject

Joke; Tell

to Cheer Up

Tell Not to

Worry

Share Similar

Problem

Give

Advice

Offer

Sympathy

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