Friendship 265■ Both men and women want the same things from
friendship and view self-disclosure, empathy, trust, and
expressions of support as the most important features
of a friendship.
■ Both women and men engage in casual conversation
with friends, view egalitarianism and similarity as cen-
tral to friendship, and believe fun and relaxation are
important aspects of friendship.Closeness of Friendship
At one time, men’s friendships were regarded
as stronger than women’s friendships. In
1969, Lionel Tiger maintained that men were
biologically predisposed to develop superior
friendships compared to women. Tiger sug-
gested the male-male bond was as important
to the survival of the species as the male-
female bond was for reproduction. Men de-
pended on other men for defense of their
territory, for gathering food, and for main-
taining social order in the community. These
ideas may be why friendships that have
been depicted in the media (identified at the
beginning of this chapter) involve men.
The more recent consensus has been
that female friendships are closer than those of
males. Starting in middle school, girls begin to
report that their friendships are closer and more
satisfying than boys do (Bauminger et al., 2008;
Linden-Andersen et al., 2009; Swenson & Rose,
2009). Girls report greater validation, support,
security, caring, and self-disclosure in same-
sex friendships compared to boys. In a study
of adolescents in the Netherlands, Turkey,
and Morocco, girls placed more trust in their
friends compared to boys (Wissink, Dekovic, &
Meijer, 2009). Adolescent and adult females
rate their same-sex friendships as closer and
more cohesive than those of males (Johnson,
2004). Women report greater nurturance, affec-
tion, intimacy, and support from friends thanresearch shows that the same features of friend-
ship are associated with satisfaction for women
and men. For example, perceived similarity is
equally related to friendship satisfaction for
females and males (Linden-Andersen et al.,
2009). Although men’s same-sex friendships
are less intimate and less supportive than
women’s, intimacy and support are equally as-
sociated with friendship satisfaction for women
and men (Bank & Hansford, 2000).
Egalitarianism is another important fea-
ture of friendship for both men and women.
Friendship by definition implies equal status.
It stands to reason that people would find
friendships more satisfying when they are of
equal rather than unequal status. Female and
male college students perceive an egalitarian
friendship more favorably than a friendship
in which the power distribution is unequal
(Veniegas & Peplau, 1997).TAKE HOME POINTS
■ The primary difference in the nature of men’s and
women’s friendships is that an activity is the focus of
men’s interactions and conversation is the focus of
women’s interactions. This difference first appears dur-
ing childhood and then persists through adolescence
and adulthood.■ It is clear that female friendships are more communal
than those of males, but the sex difference in the in-
strumentality of friendship is less clear. Regardless of
whether there is a sex difference in shared activities,
men and women may spend time sharing activities in
different ways so that shared activities are more inti-
mate for women than for men.■ Although some of these findings generalize to different
cultures, there are ethnic differences in friendship within
the United States. The female emphasis on self-disclosure
and the male lack of self-disclosure are more characteris-
tic of White people’s friendships than the friendships of
other ethnic groups.M08_HELG0185_04_SE_C08.indd 265 6/21/11 8:12 AM