The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Friendship 291

■ The role of friendship in men’s and women’s lives

decreases during early adulthood because family and

work roles take up much of people’s free time.

■ With the departure of children from the home and re-

tirement, friendship takes on an increasingly important

role in women’s lives.

■ Elderly men have difficulty maintaining social ties if

their friendships are tied to work.

■ Widowhood poses more of a problem for men than

women because social connections are often maintained

by wives, there are fewer men than women available as

friends, and there is a norm against cross-sex friendship.

or a cohort effect. When today’s college stu-

dents reach senior citizen status, will they

also find strong norms against cross-sex

friendships?

TAKE HOME POINTS

■ Friendship takes on an increasingly important role

in the lives of adolescents compared to children—

especially for females.

■ Cross-sex friendships are rare among children, peak

during adolescence and young adulthood, and diminish

substantially among the elderly.

Summary

Studies on children and adult friendship

do not reveal consistent differences in the

number of friends that females and males

have. However, females’ friendships seem

to be closer than those of males. One reason

for this is the nature of male and female

friendship: Men’s relationships are agentic—

activity focused—and women’s relationships

are communal—emotion focused. Sex

differences in the nature of friendship

emerge with age. Boys emphasize the

instrumental aspects of friendship (shared

activities), and girls emphasize the emotional

aspects of friendship (self-disclosure). These

differences persist into adulthood.

Girls’ and women’s friendships are

closer or more intimate than those of males.

Traditionally, intimacy has been defined by

self-disclosure, but this has been a subject

of contention. Some people maintain

that self-disclosure is a feminine version

of intimacy and men define intimacy

through shared experiences. Research

shows that self-disclosure is important to

both men’s and women’s conceptions of

intimacy, but men’s conceptions may also

include shared activities. For both women

and men, an intimate interaction is one

in which they feel understood, cared for,

and appreciated. These feelings may come

from self-disclosure, shared activities,

or some combination of the two. The

closeness of male friendships is restricted by

competition, homophobia, and emotional

inhibition.

Women self-disclose more than men,

and women receive more self-disclosure

than men. However, it is not the case that

men are not capable of self-disclosure. Men

simply prefer not to disclose. One reason

for sex differences in disclosure is that both

women and men view self-disclosure as a

feminine activity and view men who self-

disclose less favorably than women who

self-disclose.

Friendships are not only a source

of affection, intimacy, and support but

also are a source of conflict. Although

women’s friendships are closer than those

of men, they also may be characterized by

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