The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Romantic Relationships 335

■ The demand/withdraw behavior pattern has been

linked to gender. Women are more likely to demand,

and husbands are more likely to withdraw.

■ There are several explanations for this pattern:

a. Men and women have a basic conflict in that

women want connection, which requires coop-

eration from a partner, and men want autonomy,

which they can achieve on their own.

b. Women identify more problems in a relationship

than men do. To resolve problems, confrontation or

demanding behavior may be necessary.

c. The demand/withdraw pattern may be related to

the power structure in relationships and the lower

status of women.

d. Men are less tolerant of physiological arousal than

women so they withdraw to avoid arousal.

■ The demand/withdraw pattern is associated with lower

levels of marital satisfaction.

■ Evolutionary theory predicts that men will be distressed

by sexual infidelity, whereas women will be distressed

by emotional infidelity. Research shows that both

women and men are more distressed by emotional infi-

delity than sexual infidelity but men are relatively more

distressed than women by sexual infidelity.

Cohabiting Relationships

Cohabitation is becoming increasingly com-

mon, and attitudes toward cohabitation are

becoming increasingly favorable. In 2007,

10% of all couples were cohabiting (Popenoe,

2008). In the 2004 Census, just over 5 million

men and women cohabited, whereas in 1980

the figure was just over 1.5 million (U.S. Cen-

sus Bureau, 2004). Cohabitation has even in-

creased among the elderly (Brown, Lee, &

Bulanda, 2006). Cohabitation is especially ac-

cepted among younger people. Half of seventh,

ninth, and eleventh graders say they expect

sexual jealousy (Harris, 2003). Sex differ-

ences are reduced under cognitive load; the

majority of studies show that men are more

upset by emotional than sexual infidelity;

and fewer sex differences appear on continu-

ous measures of distress compared to forced-

choice measures (i.e., which scenario is more

distressing; Green & Sabini, 2006).

TAKE HOME POINTS

■ In marital interaction studies, women display more neg-

ative affect than men and are more likely to reciprocate

negative affect than men in distressed couples—leading

to the suggestion that women are the emotional ba-

rometers in relationships.

DO GENDER 9.6

Relations Between

Sexual and Emotional Infidelity

Ask a group of people who are in a steady

dating relationship to imagine their part-

ner has become interested in someone else.

Read the first item under Set A in Table 9.5

(the item that indicates emotional infidel-

ity). Now have these people rate how likely

they would be to think their partner had

sexual relations with the other person.

Similarly, have another group of

people read the second item under Set A

in Table 9.5 (the item that indicates sexual

infidelity). Have the people rate how likely

they would be to think their partner had

fallen in love with the other person.

1. Is sexual infidelity linked to emo-
   tional infidelity?


2. Is emotional infidelity linked to
   sexual infidelity?


3. Do the answers to these questions
   depend on the sex of the respondent?

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