The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Romantic Relationships 339

cohabit prior to marriage are less satisfied and more

likely to break up after marriage than those who did not

cohabit. There are three explanations for this finding:

1. There is a selection bias; that is, the kind of people
   who enter into cohabiting relationships are the kind
   of people who are more prone to divorce.


2. Cohabiting relationships are qualitatively different
   from marital relationships, especially in terms of
   commitment level.


3. Cohabitation may change the nature of a relationship
   in a way that makes it less viable upon marriage.

■ Cohabitation is less likely to be associated with poor

marital outcomes if one cohabited with the eventual

marital partner.

expectations are often violated by the pres-

sure to enact traditional roles when marrying

(Seltzer, 2000). Similarly, people who cohabit

have a greater degree of freedom in their activ-

ities than people who are married (Popenoe &

Whitehead, 1999). When cohabiting couples

extend this freedom to marriage, difficulties

may follow.

TAKE HOME POINTS

■ Cohabitation is becoming more widely accepted, espe-

cially among younger people but even among the elderly.

■ Despite the rise in cohabitation, cohabitation is associ-

ated with poor marital outcomes. That is, those who

Summary

Men and women are equally interested

in romantic relationships and generally

expect to get the same things out of a

romantic relationship: love, companionship,

intimacy, and sex. Men and women also

desire similar characteristics in a partner,

such as trustworthiness and kindness.

There is an overall sex difference such

that women attach more importance to

most characteristics compared to men,

which implies that women are choosier.

There also are consistent sex differences in

preferences for some of the less important

characteristics; across cultures, men

attach greater importance to the physical

appearance of their partner and women

attach greater importance to the financial

status of their partner. Evolutionary theory

and social role theory provide explanations

for these differences.

Romantic relationships are

characterized by intimacy, expressions

of love and caring, self-disclosure, and

sexuality for both women and men. There is

little evidence that women and men define

intimacy in their relationship differently.

Some evidence suggests that men hold

more romantic beliefs about relationships

compared to women, and there are some

sex differences in styles of love. Men tend

to adopt a more game-playing strategy of

love, whereas women tend to adopt a more

practical and friendship-based approach.

Men have more permissive attitudes

toward sex, but these differences are limited

to less serious relationships. Men can

separate sex from love, but women are more

likely to see the two as co-occurring. In fact,

men are more likely to seek sex for physical

pleasure, whereas women are more likely to

seek sex for emotional intimacy.

Who are the happiest couples?

Couples who share power seem to be the

happiest. Regardless of what one puts

into a relationship, women and men are

most happy when they perceive their

M09_HELG0185_04_SE_C09.indd 339 6/21/11 12:40 PM