The Times - UK - 04.12.2021

84 Saturday December 4 2021 | the times

Readers’ Lives

that they set off down the aisle before

signing the register. Afterwards Ben

took a nap while Rupal was back into

hair and make-up for the evening

mehndi party. There were street food

stalls and henna artists. The

groomsmen and Rupal’s older sister

put on a Bollywood dance.

Rupal had to be up at 5am to get

ready for the Hindu ceremony, at

which there were 250 guests. Dhol

drummers led a procession outside to

welcome Ben’s family. “Everyone got

so involved,” he says. Next was a

buffet-style Hindu lunch.

Another 50 guests arrived for the

sit-down wedding breakfast, which

was black tie and held in the evening.

“It was the final stint,” says Rupal.

“Everyone was so at ease. They had

spent so much time with each other.”

She gave an impromptu speech and

spoke about Ben’s enthusiasm for life.

“He is a real optimist and so much

fun to be around,” she says. “My

default is saying no to things and Ben

always says yes.”

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Ben remembers meeting Rupal for
the first time when he sat next to her
in a maths lecture at the University of
Bristol. She has no memory of this
and questions his recall. “He thought
I was quite funny,” she says. “This is
where I stopped believing him
because I’m not particularly funny.”
They got to know one another in
their first year as students through a
mutual friend, Laura, who shared a
house with Ben. Given their
differences, no one expected them to
get together. “The fact that we are
married now surprises me,” she says.
“I was probably quite highly strung
and Ben is the most relaxed person in
the world.”
They started to spend more time
together as friends and got together
in their second year in 2012. They
would hang out rather than go on
dates. “I found Ben hilarious,” she
says. “I definitely need someone to
help to make me enjoy things in life a
bit more.”
Her work ethic rubbed off on him.
“I went to the library loads because
Rupal was always in the library and I
ended up doing an MA,” he says.
While he did that, she got a job and

returned to live with her parents in
northeast London. She is British-
Indian and was nervous about
introducing Ben to her family. “I kind
of built it up to be a huge problem in
my mind,” she says. It has turned out
to be something positive on both
sides. “Both of our families are all
about the family,” she says.
After university Ben, who is one of
five children, moved back to his
family home in West Sussex to work
in a pub and as a tennis coach while
he looked for a job. “Maybe it took me
longer to mature,” he says. In 2015 he
moved to London and lived with
friends, and then found work. “The
amazing and slightly annoying thing

Marriages and engagements

Maths lecture leads to Bollywood-style romance

about Ben is he will land on his feet

always,” she says.

Rupal was looking for change and

spent time travelling and working in

South Africa before buying a flat in

Hither Green, in southeast London.

Ben moved in. He likes DIY; she

cooks. He is tidier now and she is

more active. “I’m fully relaxed around

her,” he says. “She is really good at

keeping my life together. She is smart,

fun and beautiful.”

They had talked about marriage

and Rupal was on the lookout for a

ring. Ben proposed on a trip to Bali

for a friend’s wedding in 2019. He had

chosen a ring with her older sister

and went down on one knee in a

paddy field where a dinner for two

had been set up.

Rupal’s older sister married in 2018

and Rupal knew that they would

benefit from a wedding planner. They

planned two weddings — a civil

ceremony and a Hindu wedding — at

North Mymms Park, a 16th-century

mansion in Hertfordshire. The

three-day celebration, which

required four outfits each, was to

take place in July last year and their

invitations had been sent out, but the

pandemic meant that it had to be

delayed for a year.

Covid-19 restrictions were lifted just

two weeks before their big day. “I

don’t think we could have got luckier,”

she says. During lockdown she had

time to refine her calligraphy skills

and did the wedding stationery.

On the eve of their wedding, family

and friends gathered at the venue for

rounders followed by a pub quiz in the

evening. About 130 guests came to the

civil ceremony, which was held in the

marble hall. Rupal walked in with her

father to Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major,

which Ben played on the piano at his

sister’s wedding. “I saw him well up,

which was a success,” she says.

The newlyweds were so excited

Rupal and Ben perform Mangal Phera, an offering of rice from her brothers

poured into the fire as a symbol of their blessings. They had two weddings

Rupal Desai, 30, an actuary, and Ben
Watson, 29, an underwriter, were
married on July 30, 2021, at North
Mymms Park in Hertfordshire

JOHN NASSARI PHOTOGRAPHY

‘I can be highly strung

and he’s the most relaxed

person in the world’

palandB h

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‘She has her father’s eyes

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PIPPA SUZANNE DRACOTT WAS BORN ON MAY 28, 2020,

AT BROOMFIELD HOSPITAL IN CHELMSFORD, ESSEX,

TO CLAIRE, 30, AND GARY DRACOTT, 30