THE SPIRITUAL LAWS

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what you think. Be understanding of others, but do not allow yourself
to be led by what others expect from you, if it is not what you feel. Do
not shield yourself in the hurt that has been done to you in order to
justify your mistrust and your isolation. Be prudent with those who wish
to take advantage of your feelings but open with those who approach
you in good faith.


And how must you act so as not to allow yourself to be absorbed and
at the same time not hurt others?

Know whether the suffering of others is due to a certain egoistic
attitude on our part, or if they are suffering through their own egoism, in
other words, through not wanting to respect our wishes and free will. If
it is through an egoistic attitude of ours, we must work to modify this,
but if it is because of the egoism of others, it is they who need to
change in order to improve, because it is they who are actually
causing the suffering. They must know that they are causing their own
suffering, although they believe that it is because of what others do to
them.


And if those people do not want to change?
They cannot be forced to change, as this would be an infringement of
their free will and although this change may be beneficial, if it is forced
it is not authentic. But that does not give them the right to force the will
of others. So if you are subjected to the egoistic attitude of another
person who seeks to indulge his or her egoism, you must not give up on
your feelings and deepest convictions.


And how can I distinguish, for example, if I have a conflict with a
certain person - with my mother, for example - whether my mother
suffers through her own egoism or through an egoistic attitude of mine?

Put yourself in her place and analyse how you would feel in her place
and what you would want in her situation. If you change your decision
as a receiver of an action with regards to what you had thought of
doing as a giver or executor of that same action, then there was a
touch of egoism or injustice in your attitude. If you maintain the same
posture as a receiver and giver, you are closer to being fair. At any
rate it is normally the case that there is a mixture of everything, in other
words, that there are egoistic attitudes on both sides, so each one
must rectify their part of egoistic attitude, but remain firm in what is not,
and not give in when faced with the egoistic attitudes of others. In the
end everything is resumed in the maxim “do not do to others what you
would not like them to do to you” and “fight so that others do not do
to you, or those that depend on you, what you know is a reason for

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