§369 marriage 211
a. The nature and source of marriage love are unknown at the present time: 2727. Marriage love
is willing what the other wills—mutually, then, and reciprocally: 2731. People who are immersed
in marriage love are living together at the deepest level of their lives: 2732. It is a union of two
minds so that they become one because of their love: 10168 , 10169 ; since the love of minds, which
is a spiritual love, is a union: 1594 , 2057 , 3939 , 4018 , 5807 , 6195 , 7081 – 7086 , 7501 , 10130.
b. Boys in the Word mean the understanding of what is true, or discernment: 7668 ; and men
mean much the same: 158 , 265 , 749 , 915 , 1007 , 2517 , 3134 , 3236 , 4823 , 9007. A woman means an
affection for what is good and true: 568 , 3160 , 6014 , 7337 , 8994 ; and the church: 252 , 253 , 749 ,
770 ; and so does a wife: 252 , 253 , 409 , 749 , 770 ; with some difference: 915 , 2517 , 3236 , 4510 , 4822
[ 4823 ]. In the highest sense, “husband and wife” describes the Lord and his union with heaven
and the church: 7022. A young woman means an affection for what is good: 3067 , 3110 , 3179 ,
3189 , 6731 , 6742 ; and also the church: 2362 , 3081 , 3963 , 4638 , 6729 , 6775 , 6778 [ 6788 ].
lower, bodily natures, it is perceived and felt as love. That love is mar-
riage love.
We can see from this that marriage love fi nds its source in the union
of two people in one mind. In heaven, this is called “living together,”
and they are not called “two” but “one.” Consequently two spouses in
heaven are not called two angels but one angel.a
The reason for this kind of union of husband and wife on the deepest 368
levels of their minds goes back to creation itself. The male is born to
focus on cognitive processes, and therefore bases his thinking on his
intellect. In contrast, the woman is born to focus on intentions, and
therefore bases her thinking on her volition. We can see this from the
tendency or innate nature of each as well as from their form. As to innate
nature, men do act on the basis of reason, while women act on the basis
of their feelings. As to form, the man has a rougher and less attractive
face, a deeper voice, and a stronger body, while the woman has a softer
and more attractive face, a gentler voice, and a softer body. This is like
the difference between intellect and volition or between thought and
affection. It is also like the difference between what is true and what is
good or between faith and love, since truth and faith are matters of intel-
lect, while good and love are matters of volition.
This is why a boy or a man, in the spiritual sense of the Word, means
the discernment of truth, while a girl or woman means an affection for
what is good. It is also why the church is called a woman or a girl on the
basis of its affection for what is good and true and why everyone who is
absorbed in an affection for what is good is called a young woman, as in
the Book of Revelation 14 : 4 .b
Both man and woman are endowed with intellect and volition, but 369
for men intellect tends to take the lead, while for women it is volition
that does so; and people are characterized by what is in control. There is