The Times Magazine - UK (2021-12-11)

62 The Times Magazine

JAnuARY

Fran Lebowitz

Whose documentary series Pretend It’s A City

with Martin Scorsese arrived on Netflix in

early Jan, reminding lockdown-frazzled

viewers that, despite it all, there is still

bone-dry wit, irreverence and ferocious

contrarianism to be had from this world,

to be inhaled, indeed, like cigarette smoke;

that taking life desperately seriously isn’t

necessarily the greatest way to proceed; that a

blazer, button-down shirt, jeans, cowboy boots,

sunglasses and a centre parting are a look

capable of generating exactly the kind of

gushy internet paeans its originator would

loathe (but never mind); and that ringing up

another famous writer to lambast them for

wilfully blurbing the cover of a bad novel,

thereby inspiring our heroine to attempt to

read it, is an entirely reasonable way to

conduct oneself. They don’t give out awards

for authenticity, but they really should; in

the meantime, Lebowitz will have to make

do with this accolade, which, presumably,

she’ll loathe too (but never mind).

Andréa Martel

Season four of Call My Agent! erupted onto

our screens, and straight women everywhere

thought themselves terribly modern for having

a massive crush on its fictional lesbian lead.

Wayne Lineker

The less famous Lineker, who made his debut

on a Covid-friendly version of reality show

Celebs Go Dating on the heels of a contentious

2020 Instagram advert for a new girlfriend

(edited highlights: “You must like older men

but only me... You have to be a worldie and

above 30 (Ok 28 29 could work) but not my

age [58] as that would just look weird...”),

where he proved himself to be... exactly

what you’d expect, really. Anti-hero to the

point of pin-up.

Joe Wicks

For farting on his PE with Joe live stream.

Bernie Sanders

For wearing mittens to Biden’s inauguration.

FEBRuARY

Jackie Weaver

Possibly the most unintentional internet

sensation of all time. A lone voice of

reason (and arguably Lebowitz-grade wit)

at a terribly lively Zoom December parish

council meeting, the footage of which went

viral, spawned catchphrases and related

merchandise (“You have no authority here,

Jackie Weaver!”; “Read the standing orders!

READ THEM AND UNDERSTAND

THEM!”, “Julie’s iPad”), made a chat show

star/Times interview subject of Weaver, and

mercifully distracted everyone else from the

pernicious scourge of the sea shanty.

Rod Ponton

The “I Am Not A Cat” man, of the second

most popular errant Zoom of the month. Just

one lawyer, struggling with a Zoom filter.

MARCH

Prince William

Tricky to find the faintest whiff of pin-uppery

potential in the turmoil of Meghan and

Harry’s Oprah interview (which aired on

March 7 in the US), the closest we can sniff

out is Prince William’s “We are very much

not a racist family” of March 11.

Ted Hastings

Great head of hair, equally great line in quasi-

blasphemous hyperbole, all showcased in Line

of Duty, most watched show of that moment.

APRiL

The Queen

Who broke even the most republican of hearts

sitting alone at the funeral for her husband,

the Duke of Edinburgh.

MAY

Will Smith

Sent his lockdown-embellished dad bod viral

this month, like a calendar model for the age

of inclusivity. “I’m gonna be real wit y’all – I’m

in the worst shape of my life,” he declared on

social media, an act the young people would

probably call “relatable”. (Assuming they still

do that? Anyone?)

JunE

The entire England squad and

Gareth Southgate

Such beautiful hope they gave us, with

such grace.

Kaleb Cooper

A TV show documenting petrolhead and

national contrarian Jeremy Clarkson’s attempts

to farm his own land shouldn’t have worked,

yet turned out to be some of the cleverest,

most affecting, most amusing telly anyone had

seen in ages, thanks in no small part to the

contribution of 21-year-old Kaleb, whose comic

timing, multiple hairstyles, knowledge of the

locations of all the best potato-throwing

parties, and ability to, you know, farm,

made a breakout star of him, and never

mind he’s never really left Chipping

Norton because he doesn’t see the point.

JuLY

Bennifer

Following months of giddy

speculation, confirmation actress

and singer Jennifer Lopez had

NOVEMBER: Rose and Giovanni

FEBRUARY: Rod Ponton

JANUARY: Andréa Martel

AUGUST: Armond from

The White Lotus

JUNE: Kaleb Cooper

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