The Sunday Times Magazine - UK (2021-12-12)

The Sunday Times Magazine • 49

brand of coffee filter jug — not,

as I imagined, something chaps

do in the privacy of their own

dungeons), featuring strawberry

syrup and Sprite. Under

“Instagrammable drinks” is blue

sapphire iced latte, which includes

blue flower petals, condensed

milk, vanilla syrup, “our exclusive

blue matcha” and, apparently,

crushed sapphires. Eat your heart

out, you with your so-last-century

gold-plated steaks.

Food too, if you can call it that:

cinnamon s’mores waffles (pink

waffles, torched marshmallow,

“Lotus sauce” — I’m guessing

Biscoff — and cinnamon sugar).

Their “ride or die bestseller” is

Nutella French toast, fat slabs

of bread piled high with the

spread and snowed with drifts

of icing sugar. It’s less menu and

more an advert for bulimia. Miller

is, according to her LinkedIn

profile, “a fervent proponent of

healthful eating”. She evidently

practises it elsewhere.

The cakes section is where the

real action is. They’re surprisingly

good, deliberately indulgent and

OTT. We have a red velvet cake

— moist and loose-grained, with

a thick cream cheese frosting and

a massive chocolate-covered log

of ganache, caramel and nuts, as

slick as anything from a Parisian

patisserie but three times the

size. Leaving, we walk past

uncleared plates left on the tables,

towering pistachio blocks and

dulce de leche cakes abandoned

almost untouched, of no further

interest once they have posed

for their close-ups: the Gloria

Swansons of baked goods. How

this meshes with the company’s

“nourish” statement — well, your

guess is as good as mine. Oh,

wait — it nourishes your soul,

they say. Gotcha.

We come out into a Soho that

looks, suddenly, many shades

greyer before scuttling off to a

penumbral dive for a couple of

bone-dry martinis, possessed by

the urgent need to recalibrate

palates. And retinas. And cleanse

them both too. The EL&N

aesthetic is too garish. I mean,

I get the Instagrammability,

but it makes you feel vaguely

nauseous, like eating in a carnival

fun house. I walk past one in

St Pancras station that has as its

window display a vast, shiny pink

poodle, its carefully moulded

testicles facing the world, a kitsch

statement of intent.

So why review this at all?

Because EL&N is not just an

aberration, it’s a trend. There’s

a slew of these places springing

up, all waffles and candy-coloured

cocktails: 202 Kitchen in

Manchester, with its Barbie

aesthetic (coming to Birmingham

soon too); or Boujee (Liverpool,

Chester, Manchester), “owned”

by a Real Housewife of Cheshire,

complete with flamingo-studded

living wall and closet full of

Technicolor shoes. Or another

egregiously called the Skinny

Kitchen — London, Ibiza,

Canterbury; bottomless brunches

— a further bludgeoning by neon

and fuchsia. EL&N isn’t even coy

about its ambition: “London’s

most Instagrammable hot spot”,

its website trumpets — I nearly

said “without a blush”, but given

its colour scheme, who’d know?

Facebook, sorry, “Meta”

changed the way people think.

Its image-driven sibling is

changing the way people

consume. I recognise the irony

of being led to EL&N, albeit

indirectly, by Instagram. It may

be a silly superficial place for

silly superficial people, but it’s

winning. Snobbery? Sure, if

you like. But if we don’t tread

carefully we’ll end up with the

restaurants — and media, and

lifestyles — we deserve. EL&N has

just opened in Paris. Be afraid n

Twitter: @MarinaOLoughlin

Instagram: @marinagpoloughlin

The initials stand

for Eat, Live and

Nourish. Hilarious,

as it’s so devoid of

nutritional value

Left: video games

adorn the garish

interior. Far left: red

velvet cake. Top: the

“ride or die bestseller”

Nutella French toast

FROM THE MENU

BRUNCH

Smashed avocado

on sourdough £9.95

Chapati za’atar £8.50

DESSERTS

Nutella French

toast £9.50

Red velvet cake £7.50

DRINKS

Matcha rose iced

latte £7

Blue sapphire iced

latte £15

TOTAL

For two, including 12.5%

service charge £65

Plate of the nation

Chick’n’Sours will

ruffle feathers with

its spicy meal kit

Since restaurants have been

open I haven’t done one of these

national “elevated deliveries” —

but it’s good to see the initiative

going strong. Here’s Chick’n’Sours,

which I rate for making the art of

fried chicken occasion-worthy,

with its cool little joints and killer

cocktail list. But will it travel?

With a bit of faffing about, yes

— I’d forgotten how fiddly these

kits can be, especially when each

dish features many components

(the burger itself: bun, breaded

chicken to deep-fry or shallow-

fry-plus-oven, chipotle ranch

mayo, slaw mix, pickled pineapple

rings, lime and jalapeño sauce,

shredded iceberg). But the meal is

a joy, a powerhouse of electrifying

flavours; even watermelon salad

packs a chilli-fish sauce punch.

Particular love for the chicken

and bacon ragout that tops a rather

measly portion of nachos: insanely

resonant flavours, a tingle of

Sichuan pepper, gorgeous. (There’s

also cheese sauce, chillies and

kimchi — pow.) This is a limited

edition, but there are new ones to

discover regularly. Next time I’m

getting “sours” cocktails too. MO’L

Piña Picante meal kit, £35 plus
delivery; chicknsours.co.uk
ALAMY