NEUROTIC IMPOSTORS: FEELING LIKE A FAKE 101
I was exposed to a lot of pressures and, of course, I had to deal with
my own memories of the role my mother had played when I was growing
up. She had been a typical housewife. Not staying at home and pursuing
a career obviously made me a bad mother. Fortunately, it is now more
common to have a career and a family life in Holland. But at that time
there was a lot of pressure on me to quit.
In spite of my success in business and what I think has been a good
family life, I still have my doubts about doing both. The symptom is
that — in spite of all my efforts to fi ght it — I constantly feel guilty. I have
always lived with the sense that I am not really good at anything. Men
may fi nd it hard to understand what I am talking about.
Gender - role socialization isn ’ t the only thing that makes women more
vulnerable than men to neurotic imposture. The fact that business-
women have to function in an environment dominated by men com-
pounds their insecurity, because when women are successful, they ’ re not
the only ones who suspect imposture. Many of their competitive male
colleagues also assume that chance or an affi rmative action program —
rather than talent or skill — is responsible for female success. In addition,
men — consciously or unconsciously — often exclude women from their
informal networks. Though few men express the opinion of imagined
‘ special treatment ’ publicly, subtle insinuations from male colleagues add
to a woman ’ s fear that their ‘ luck ’ won ’ t hold. As a result, many very
gifted women fail to realize that they have superior talents. And, if they
do realize it, they are more likely than men to hide those talents and
play dumb as a strategy for dealing with others ’ envy and their own
recurring feelings of self - doubt.
Clance and Imes (1978) hypothesize about the existence of two
types of women who feel imposturous. According to their study, the
fi rst type is victimized by a family myth that designates one sibling the
clever one, while the other is labeled the sensitive or socially adept one.
In spite of the ‘ sensitive ’ girl ’ s string of achievements, the family con-
tinues to attribute greater intelligence and ability to the ‘ clever ’ sibling,
even when his or her (but it usually is ‘ his ’ ) academic performance is
much the poorer. This leaves the other with a sense of doubt about her
true abilities and the lingering question of whether her family may actu-
ally be right.
The second type experiences the reverse, and is mythologized as
superior in every possible way, from her intellect and personality to her
appearance. Anecdotes are told about her precocity as an infant. Yet, at
the same time, she experiences situations where she has diffi culty in
achieving. Given the indiscriminate manner in which she is praised, she
begins to distrust her parents ’ perceptions and consequently her own.