REFLECTIONS ON CHARACTER AND LEADERSHIP

102 REFLECTIONS ON CHARACTER AND LEADERSHIP

Men can suffer similar feelings, often related to an unconscious sense

of guilt about doing better than their father, which fi nds it roots in

childhood. There is also the saying that ‘ nothing grows in the shade of

a great tree. ’ Having a formidable father doesn ’ t always help. This may

lead to anxiety because of fear never to be able to live up to the father ’ s

standards. In addition, if an effort is made, these talented youngsters

struggle with the fear of the father ’ s envy (and consequent retribution)

(Schafer, 1984 ). These instances suggest that the Oedipal drama has

never been successfully resolved for these individuals. Infantile fears like

these, which may contain a kernel of truth, are often based on covert

messages, and may linger on into adulthood (Kets de Vries, 1989 ). They

will be exacerbated if an individual ’ s success takes them into a different

social or fi nancial sphere from their family background, raising real fears

of separation, estrangement, and rejection.

There is one important caveat worth mentioning concerning the

issue of gender and imposture, and it relates to sexuality. While it

is almost impossible for a man to fake orgasm, this form of impos-

ture is relatively easy for women (Roach, 2008 ). Women who expe-

rience diffi culties in reaching orgasm, and for various reasons take

recourse to faking it, may also feel imposturous in other areas of

their lives.

Like the true impostor, the person who feels imposturous adopts an

inauthentic survival strategy to win approval from others. Sycophancy,

intellectual fl attery, and charm become means of defl ecting anticipated

social rejection. Telling the other person what he or she wants to hear

becomes a strategy for gaining approval and postponing the dreaded

moment of being revealed as an impostor.

Fear of Success

This way of thinking and acting is reminiscent of one of Freud ’ s char-

acter types in his 1916 essay, ‘ Those Wrecked by Success, ’ a group of

people who fall ill when a long - cherished wish comes to fruition. There

are some differences, however. The people Freud describes may go

further than merely feeling inauthentic and fraudulent, and actually

engage in self - defeating acts, achieving, as it were, ‘ victory through

defeat ’ (Reik, 1941 ). Their ‘ success neurosis ’ causes them unhappiness

when they are faced with their own accomplishments, at least at one

level of consciousness. Another perspective on this is to see their behav-

ior as a form of rebellion, a continuation of an old determination not to

submit to the expectations of their parents.