68 REFLECTIONS ON CHARACTER AND LEADERSHIP
potentially uncontrollable forces. Alexithymics ignore the distress signals
given by their mind and body. Their fantasy life may become stilted;
they are out of touch with their psychic world. Moreover, given the state
of dependence to which they have become accustomed, they may become
addicted to external stimuli as ways of giving structure to their world,
unable as they are themselves to resort to their own symbolic representa-
tions, fantasies, or dreams to work through mental confl ict. They need
others to tell them how they feel.
In the case of these individuals, the general human tendency towards
mirroring (seeing in others what we would like to see in ourselves) seems
to have been carried ad absurdum. In McDougall ’ s words, what they feel
‘ will appear in the people [they are] involved with. They are [their]
mirror ’ ( 1982a , p. 88). They attempt ‘ to make substitute objects in the
external world do duty for symbolic ones which are absent or damaged
in the inner psychic world ’ ( 1974 , p. 449).
In general, alexithymic people are preoccupied with the concrete
and objective. Psychologically, they seem to be almost illiterate, lacking
any capacity for empathy or self - awareness and resorting to action as a
way of dealing with confl icts (Neill and Sandifer, 1982 ; Lesser and
Lesser, 1983 ; Taylor, 1984 ; Taylor et al. , 1999 ). McDougall terms their
behavior an ‘ activity addiction ’ : ‘ a drug - like relationship to their daily
work or to numerous other activities (which sometimes do not even
interest them), with the unconscious aim of leaving no room for relaxa-
tion or daydreaming. ’ These people are continually involved in ‘ doing ’
rather than in ‘ being ’ or ‘ experiencing ’ ( 1989 , p. 97). Given their capac-
ity to negate and deny emotions, people with alexithymic tendencies do
not experience, nor are they aware of, intrapsychic confl ict. Their physi-
cal behavior can seem robotic, accompanied by stiffness of posture and
a lack of facial expressiveness. External details seem to be used as a way
of fi lling their inner deadness. They have never been permitted to
experiment with their own feelings.Degrees of alexithymia
Alexithymia is not an all - or - nothing phenomenon. It exists along a
continuum of affective experience and expression. Some researchers,
however, make a distinction between primary and secondary alex-
ithymia. The former implies a real defi cit in experiential thinking.
Because it is a relatively permanent condition, it is the more diffi cult
one of the two to change. Secondary alexithymia, generally the result
of certain developmental restrictions, manifests itself as alexithymic - like