6.3. SOCIAL LANGUAGE PATTERNS 299
6.3.1 Showing and demanding face
In Japan, and thus when using Japanese, you must constantly be aware
of what your relation is to speakers and listeners with respect to social
position. You do not speak to your boss in the same way that you speak
to your friend, but you will not speak to the visiting boss of a different
company as you will speak to your own boss. While you might speak
informally with your friends, if one of your friends shows up as part of
an embassadorial delegation, you will be required to speak to him as part
of the embassadorial delegation, not as your friend - the style of Japanese
used heavily depends on which group you are in, and whether others are
in the same group or not.
The in- and out- groups
Whether you’re at home, at school, at work or at play in your own time,
there is always the concept of thein-group, or , and theout-group, or
. These words also literally mean ”in” and ”out”, respectively, and
are highly relevant to deciding what levels of politeness and humble or
honorific speech are required in your speech.
Familiar speech can only be used with people in your familiar in-
group. This group may include family, or good friends. Speech paĴerns
such as highly contracted speech, plain form and same-level giving or re-
ceiving may be used, and you may refer to people in this group by a nick-
name or by their name either without any title suffix or with an affection-
ate suffix such as or. However, for older in-group members,
simply by virtue of them being older and thus deserving more respect, it
is customary to show face by using someone’s title (such as for parents or
older siblings) or their family name suffixed with (for friends that have
earned a measure of respect). This means that a younger sibling might call
her brother
, using his title, but he might in turn refer to her by
her given name, or given name suffixed with , instead.
The formal in-group constitutes people who you are associated with
through your daily activities, work, hobbies or through some other means
of direct association. With these people, and in the seĴing of that associa-
tion, politeness is the key. If you work with several people, two of which
are good friends of yours, then you may use informal speech when talking
only to them, but when the discussion involves other co-workers, the set-
ting changes to formal in-group, and formal polite speech is required. Just
as you cannot mix ’proper speech’ with ’banter style’ speech in most west-
ern countries, you should not mix speech paĴerns when using Japanese.