6.4. ACKNOWLEDGING SOCIAL STATUS THROUGH SPEECH 309
- if the giving is being done to someone of equal or higher status, (
- +)
is used.
- +)
- if the giving is being done to someone of greatly higher status, (
- +)
is used.
- +)
Now, this requires a bit more explaining because when it comes to giving,
virtually any situation involves giving to ”equal or higher status”. Unless
you intend to highly offend someone, basically anyone capable of normal
interaction will, for the purpose of being given to, be of equal status at the
very least. If we have never met before, and I have something to give you,
then I will describe this giving from me, to you, using either + +
(for the giving of an action, ie, doing for you) or just (for the
giving of an object):
”I gave something-or-other to a person I don’t know in the slightest.””I did something-or-other for a person I don’t know in the slightest.”The reason that we are of equal status (at the least) is essentially one
of politeness. Unless I despise you, any event in which I give you some-
thing means there is at least a modicum of respect, and as such I will indi-
cate this by using the verb , which literally translates to ”lift (some-
thing)”. By using this verb, and for the duration of the giving, I lower my
own social status, and elevate yours. If you accept my gift, things go back
to normal. However, in typical Japanese style, most gifts (even the gift of
doing something for someone) between non-familiar people, meaning not
good friends or family members, will at first be mock-refused. This is one
of those interesting cultural paĴerns where behaving like a foreigner can
cause serious problems: it is customary to kindly refuse any gifts or offers
for help, so that the giver can insist. Only then will a gift or offer for help
be accepted. Not because the receiver had to be persuaded, but because
that’s simply the only proper way to go about the issue of giving, in Japan.
If you are offered tea, kindly refuse, then accept once offered again. Flat
out accepting could easily be considered rude, and flat out rejecting quite
possibly even more so.