6.4. ACKNOWLEDGING SOCIAL STATUS THROUGH SPEECH 311
of the multitude of interpretations is the most likely the intended on, due
to contextual information.
So that leaves the verb. We can be fairly brief about it: you do
not use , except in the rare event where the giving is done to something
inherently without social status:
”(I) gave the children some candy.”But even this is not without danger: if the children in this example
sentence were, for instance, your boss’ children, then saying you got them
candy using this phrase to your boss would in fact be quite rude, as you
have just implied his children are without social value. So, be careful, and
if at all possible: avoid using entirely.
technically means ”do”, similar to , but while it is possible
to use this verb as alternative to in highly informal intimate seĴing
(with close friends, for instance), it’s all too easy to accidentally use it with
someone who was not aware you didn’t consider them part of the group
for which status was irrelevant. So again, use with care, and if possible,
simply do not use it.
With so much explanation, one would almost forget that this only
covered the first of the two directions for giving. However, there’s also the
opposite direction:
- third person to second person, i.e. ”he gives to you”,
- second person to first person, i.e. ”you give to me”,
- third person to first person or, i.e. ”she gives to me”, and
- third person to (other) third person, i.e. ”they give to them”.
Giving, or doing for, in this ”direction” can be done using two very differ-
ent verbs, the choice of which – again – depends on the social difference
between the giver, and the receiver:
- if the giving is being done by someone of equal or higher status, (
+ +)
is used.- if the giving is being done by someone you are on a familiar basis
with, ( + +)
is used.