The Sunday Times - UK (2021-12-19)

The Sunday Times December 19, 2021 35

COMMENT

CODEWORD

KENKEN

TETONOR

10 x 6 9 + 24 7 x 35 6 + 10

35 + 7 52 x 2 15 + 2 9 x 24

69 x 3 2 x 15 69 + 3 8 x 5

5 + 8 21 x 11 21 + 11 52 + 2

245 16

42 104 17 216

60 33

72 40

13 231 32 54

207 30

SUDOKU 1461

SUDOKU WARM-UP

KILLER SUDOKU

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTIONS

with only one year’s

exception, I have given them

both five pounds for each

year of their age. They are

now grown-up, but I have

continued to do this on

their birthdays, except for

the one year when I couldn’t

afford to give either of

them anything.

Averaged out over all of their

birthdays, including the one

for which they received

nothing, my elder daughter

has now received 21 per cent

more per birthday than her

younger sister.

How much in total have I

given to my daughters as

birthday presents?

Howard Williams

Birthday Money

My two daughters were born

on the same day but seven

years apart. Every birthday,

TEASER 3091

Sally Brock

This week’s deal is a

superficially mundane

three no-trumps from the

round robin of a world

championship:

Both vulnerable, Dealer South

When we were North-South in

this match against Canada,

the bidding went:

I am not usually a

proponent of making

invitational bids after a 1NT

opening, but with a poor

long suit the hand does not

usually play very well unless

partner has a fit.

West led the five of

diamonds to the king and

ace, and partner started by

placing the jack of spades on

the table. This worked very

well when West covered.

Partner had no further

problems and soon came to

three spades, one heart, two

diamonds and three clubs.

At the other table the

bidding was:

CHESS

This year’s London Chess

Classic provided its usual

eclectic variety of events. Blitz,

pairs chess, simultaneous

exhibitions — truly something

for everyone.

The centrepiece of the Classic

was a match between three of

England’s leading players and

three visiting grandmasters.

Michael Adams, Luke McShane

and Gawain Jones represented

the home nation while Nikita

Vitiugov (Russia), Boris Gelfand

(Israel) and Maxime Lagarde

(France) represented the rest of

the world.

Defeat on the final day meant

that England were beaten by a

narrow 8.5-9.5 score. A first

round miniature set the tone

for a dramatic match.

White: Luke McShane

Black: Maxime Lagarde

England versus Rest of the

World, London 2021

Sicilian Defence

1 e4 c5 2 Nf3 e6 3 g3 Somewhat

of an English speciality. Almost

all of England’s top players

have experimented with this

move. Lagarde, not to be

confused with compatriot

Maxime Vachier-Lagrave, had

clearly spotted this detail in his

preparation for the game.

3...d5 4 exd5 exd5 5 d4 cxd4

An alternative to the standard

5...Nc6. 6 Nxd4 Nc6 7 Bg2 Bc5

8 Nxc6 White’s opening play is

too compliant. 8 Nb3 Qe7+ 9

Qe2 is roughly balanced, but the

isolated d5-pawn will at least be

a long-term target. 8...bxc6

9 0-0 Nf6 10 c4 0-0 11 cxd5

Ba6 Black’s pieces spring to

life, creating awkward threats.

12 Re1 cxd5 13 Nc3 Qb6 14

Be3? A blunder under severe

pressure. 14 Qc2 was obligatory:

14...Ng4 15 Nxd5 Bxf2+ 16 Kh1

with chaos on the board.

14...d4 Energetic and powerful.

Black embarks on a long

forcing variation that leaves the

white position in ruins. 15 Na4

dxe3! Black obtains several

pieces in return for the queen.

16 Nxb6 exf2+ 17 Kh1 fxe1Q+

18 Qxe1 Bxb6 19 Bxa8 Rxa8

20 h3 Re8 21 Qd1 Re2 White

resigns Disaster is inevitable

on the h1-a8 diagonal.

Spot the Move 1302:

Black to play.

Speelman-Jones, London 2021.

Can you spot how Black

ruthlessly punished his

opponent for placing the white

pieces so passively?

Send your solution (first move only), to Sunday Times Spot the Move 1302,

The Sunday Times, PO Box 29, Colchester, Essex CO2 8GZ, or email to

[email protected]. The first correct answer drawn after next

Saturday wins a £20 Waterstones voucher. Open to 18+ UK & ROI residents only.

David Howell BRIDGE

♠ A 3 2

♥ A 8 6 4 3

♦ 9

♣ K 10 8 7

N

W E

S

♠ K 9 6

♥ K 10 7 5

♦ J 8 6 5 2

♣ 2

♠ Q 8 5

♥ Q J

♦ K 7 3

♣ J 9 6 5 3

♠ J 10 7 4

♥ 9 2

♦ A Q 10 4

♣ A Q 4

W________W

árDWDW4kD]

à0WDWDp0p]

ßb1WDWhWD]

ÞDWgpDWDW]

ÝWDWDWDWD]

ÜDWHWGW)W]

ÛP)WDW)B)]

Ú$WDQ$WIW]

WÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈW

W________W

áWDr4WDkD]

à0bDW0pDp]

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ÝWDWDWDnD]

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ÚGQ$W$KDW]

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West North East South

1NT

Pass 2 ♦ Pass 2 ♥

Pass 2NT Pass 3NT

All Pass

Send your solution to: The Sunday

Times Teaser 3091, PO Box 29,

Colchester, Essex CO2 8GZ or email

[email protected].

The first two correct solutions opened

after next Saturday each win a £20

Waterstones voucher. Open to 18+ UK &

ROI residents only.

Again, West led a diamond to

the king and ace, but at this

table declarer ducked a heart

to East. East returned a

diamond to the ten and jack

and West cleared the

diamonds. Declarer now

played another heart and

West, Fiona Brown, made

the excellent play of inserting

the king. Had she played low

East would have had to win

the queen and would have

been endplayed (a club

would only give declarer her

eighth trick, but a spade

switch would be a disaster).

Declarer had to win the ace

and had no real play for her

contract. In practice she

rather muddled things and

went three down.

This week’s problem

You, West, hold, non-

vulnerable against

vulnerable:

The bidding goes:

What do you bid?

Solution next week.

♠ 10 4

♥ K 6 2

♦ 9 2

♣ A K Q J 9 6

achey, achy, acyl, ahoy, cacodyl,

cadency, candy, chalcedony, chancy,

chyle, clay, cloy, coaly, coley, coly,

condyle, coney, cony, cyan, cycad,

cycle, cyclone, dancey, decay, decoy,

delay, deny, doyen, dyne, dyno,

halcyon, handy, heady, holey, holy,

honey, hoya, hoyden, hyena, lacy, lady,

leccy, lynch, only, yeah, yean, yodel

MEPHISTO 3198

Across: 1 Heifer, 5 Clayed, 10 Undergrad, 12 Malaga, 13 Sakti, 15 Sakers, 16 Arrears, 17 Glee,

18 Needfulness, 21 Affiliation, 25 Ikon, 26 Onfalls, 28 Milieu, 30 Inked, 31 Eleven, 32 Cold frame,

33 Energy, 34 Basset

Down: 1 Humean, 2 Idler, 3 Feared, 4 Ergo, 5 Cross-linked, 6 Lasagna, 7 Yokels, 8 Entresols, 9 Daises,

11 Garrulously, 14 Break in on, 19 Firedog, 20 Simile, 22 Folkie, 23 Tavers, 24 NSFnet, 27 Lavas, 29 Alfa

WEATHER

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE JUMBO CROSSWORD 296

Across: 1 Dirndl, 4 Acadia, 8 At work, 12 Keypunch, 13 Rosetta stone, 14 Joan Benoit, 15 Azerbaijan,

16 World According To Garp, 19 Cruyff, 20 Albatross, 22 Mosh, 23 Isolde, 24 Derwent, 25 Indira,

27 Owen, 29 Mousehole, 30 Oil rig, 31 Keeping up Appearances, 34 Assortment, 35 Hindenburg,

37 Doc Morrissey, 38 On remand, 39 Ferris, 40 Gander, 41 En fête

Down: 1 Diet of Worms, 2 Ripon, 3 Daniel Defoe, 5 Caret, 6 Dastard, 7 At the end of the rainbow,

8 Alan Bates, 9 Watling, 10 Ron Harris, 11 The Once and Future King, 17 Ray Alan, 18 Osborne,

21 Toe loop, 22 Middle C, 25 Icosahedron, 26 Reinsurance, 28 Whetstone, 2 9 Men at Arms,

32 Prommer, 33 Artisan, 35 Hayle, 36 Bombe

POLYGON

Winners Crossword 4983 LJ McKinley, Stourport-on-Severn, Worcestershire, S Abel, York, M Goodliffe, London SW7, B Smith, Brighton, East Sussex Mephisto 3196 J Randle,

Lymm, Cheshire, P Hamilton, Hindley Green, Greater Manchester, G Spanton, Bathford, Somerset, N Stevenson, Dunton Green, Kent, G Telfer, Baildon, West Yorkshire

Teaser 3088 SE Dinwiddy, Bishop’s Stortford, Hertfordshire, W Slusar, Cambridge Chess 1299 J Wilner, Bewdley, Worcestershire Sudoku 1459 D Osinga, London SW11

Amsterdam 9C sh

Athens 7 sh

Auckland 23 s

Bangkok 30 f

Barcelona 14 s

Beijing 5 s

Belgrade 5 f

Berlin 7 sh

Bogota 21 th

Boston 3 f

Brussels 8 f

Budapest 7 f

Buenos Aires 34 f

Cairo 18 f

Calgary -11 sh

Cape Town 30 f

Caracas 23 th

Casablanca 25 sh

Chicago 2 s

Dubai 25 s

Dublin 8 f

Geneva 4 f

Gibraltar 15 sh

Guatemala 26 th

Helsinki 2 f

Hong Kong 17 c

Istanbul 7 sh

Jersey 7 c

Johannesburg 19 sh

La Paz 13 th

Lagos 29 s

Lima 23 f

Lisbon 17 f

London 8C c

Los Angeles 19 s

Madrid 11 f

Mexico City 21 f

Miami 27 th

Moscow -0 sl

Nairobi 25 th

New Delhi 20 s

New Orleans 17 f

New York 4 f

Oslo 4 s

Panama 28 th

Paris 8 c

Prague 8 sh

Rio de Janeiro 25 sh

Rome 11 s

San Francisco 13 s

Santiago 33 s

Seoul 2 f

Seychelles 28 th

Singapore 27 th

Stockholm 3 sl

Sydney 36 th

Tel Aviv 18 f

Tenerife 20 s

Tokyo 10 f

Toronto -1 f

Trinidad 28 th

Tunis 15 s

Venice 8 s

Vienna 6 f

Warsaw 6 sh

Washington DC 7 sl

AROUND THE WORLD

Key c=cloud, dr=drizzle, ds=dust storm, f=fair, fg=fog, g=gales, h=hail,

m=mist, r=rain, sh=showers, sl=sleet, sn=snow, s=sun, th=thunder, w=windy

¬ Mainly dry with sunny

spells across Portugal,

Spain, France, Italy, Croatia,

Slovenia, the Alps, Serbia,

the Mediterranean Islands

and Bulgaria but feeling chilly

in places and the risk of a

shower in southern Iberia

¬ Sunny spells and a

scattering of showers across

Greece and Turkey, wintry

over inland areas and

higher ground

¬ Rather cloudy with

outbreaks of rain, sleet and

snow across Germany, the

Low Countries, the Czech

Republic, Slovakia, Romania,

Ukraine, Poland, Belarus,

western Russia and the Baltic

states, heavy in places

¬ Chilly with wintry showers

in northern Scandinavia but

dry further south

EUROPE

THE WEEK AHEAD

Monday

Mainly cloudy

in the south but

brighter further

north. Max 8C

Tuesday

Dry with sunny

spells after a frosty

morning.

Max 7C

Wednesday

A few showers in

Scotland but dry

elsewhere.

Max 8C

Thursday

Cloud and rain in

the southwest but

dry further north.

Max 10C

Friday

Mainly cloudy

with outbreaks of

rain, sleet or snow.

Max 10C

Saturday

Wintry showers in

the north, cloudy

with rain further

south. Max 9C

SUN, STREET LIGHTS & MOON

NIGHT SKY

Aberdeen 08:45 15:25 08:45 15:11 10:24(Mon)

Belfast 08:43 15:58 08:43 15:50 10:15(Mon)

Birmingham 08:15 15:54 08:15 15:50 09:43(Mon)

Bristol 08:12 16:02 08:12 15:59 09:39(Mon)

Cardiff 08:14 16:04 08:15 16:02 09:41(Mon)

Cork 08:38 16:23 08:38 16:20 10:06(Mon)

Dublin 08:37 16:07 08:37 16:01 10:07(Mon)

Glasgow 08:44 15:43 08:45 15:32 10:20(Mon)

London 08:02 15:52 08:03 15:49 09:29(Mon)

Manchester 08:21 15:50 08:22 15:44 09:51(Mon)

Newcastle 08:28 15:38 08:28 15:29 10:01(Mon)

Norwich 08:03 15:41 08:03 15:36 09:31(Mon)

Plymouth 08:13 16:14 08:13 16:12 09:38(Mon)

Sun

rises

Sun sets/

lights on

Lights

off

Moon

rises

Moon

sets

16

9 10

8

7

8

3

5

3

2

5

4

1

8

14

7

9

7

6

4

8

23

7

6

4

2

7

21

13

4

3

1

5

17

22

4

2

2

6

8

19

9

5

1

9

21

23

8

6

1

6

17

TODAY’S WEATHER

UK and Ireland forecast

Mainly cloudy across England, eastern Wales, Ireland and

northern and eastern Scotland with a few fog patches and the

chance of some drizzle in places. Dry in western Wales and

central and western Scotland after a frosty morning. Generally

light and variable winds but moderate to strong easterly winds

in southwest England and the far southwest of Ireland

REGIONAL FORECASTS

London, SE England

Cloudy and misty with drizzle at times. Light northeasterly

wind. Max 8C. Tonight, cloudy with drizzle. Min 5C

Midlands, E England

Overcast with patchy fog and drizzle at times. Light northerly

wind. Max 7C. Tonight, overcast with drizzle. Min 4C

Channel Is, SW and Cent S England, S Wales

Cloudy with drizzle and bright intervals. Light to moderate

easterly wind. Max 9C. Tonight, cloud and drizzle. Min 2C

N Wales, NW England, Isle of Man

A few sunny spells, but most places will be cloudy. Light and

variable winds. Max 8C. Tonight, clear spells. Min 1C

Cent N and NE England

Overcast with drizzle and patchy fog. Light northerly wind.

Max 6C. Tonight, cloudy with drizzle. Min 3C

Scotland

Cloud and rain in the north and east but dry elsewhere. Light

and variable winds. Max 7C. Tonight, clear spells. Min -3C

N Ireland, Republic of Ireland

Bright spells but most places will be cloudy. Light to moderate

easterly wind. Max 9C. Tonight, cloud and rain. Min 0C

8

8

5

3

4

6

8

7

17

18

17

moderate

slight

moderate

moderate

TODAY’S SOLUTIONS

CONCISE CROSSWORD 1760

Across: 1 Fulcrum, 5 Read, 7 Equivocation, 8 Bush,

9 Thorough, 11 Rennet, 13 Earwax, 15 Passer-by,

18 Site, 19 Parochialism, 20 Jerk, 21 Sinless

Down: 1 Flexure, 2 Laughing stock, 3 Revet, 4 Microbe,

5 Retrogressive, 6 Among, 10 Hex, 11 Rep, 12 Torches,

14 Artemis, 16 Amaze, 17 Yearn

SPOT THE MOVE 1301

1 Qe8+! wins: 1...Bxe8 2 Rxe8 mate

TEASER 3090

65 km

CROSSWORD 4985

Across: 1 Stigma, 5 Masthead, 9 No longer with us, 10 Just, 11 Epistolary, 13 Chorea, 14 Glancing,

16 Galtieri, 18 Bustle, 20 Tearjerker, 22 Task, 23 Achilles tendon, 25 Websites, 26 Maiden

Down: 2 Too much, 3 Ghostwriter, 4 Aggregate, 5 Morning sickness, 6 Skint, 7 Huh, 8 Also-ran,

12 Locus standi, 15 Arboretum, 17 Average, 19 Lissome, 21 Éclat, 24 His

SUKO CELL BLOCKS

West North East South

1 ♦

Pass 1 ♥ Pass 1NT

Pass 2 ♣ * Pass 2 ♠

Pass 2NT Pass 3NT

All Pass

* checkback, asking for 3 ♥ or 4 ♠

West North East South

1NT Pass Pass

?

Venus, brilliant, is some 10° high in the SSW at

sunset and sets in the SW at 6pm. A telescope

or binoculars show it as a dazzling crescent.

Jupiter is conspicuous higher to the S with

Saturn, fainter, between it and Venus. Orion

climbs from low in the E at 7pm to lie due S and

below right of the Moon at midnight. Our winter

solstice occurs on Tuesday. Alan Pickup

thumb is all that separates us from goats,

I decided I’d better do as I was told.

She removed the pork chop, washed

off most of the chilli, salt, garlic and mud

from the floor and then put it back,

before wrapping it in a bandage again

and sending me to a hospital in Oxford.

Here I was seen by a professor, who

immediately jabbed what remained of

my thumb with local anaesthetic. As

that took effect, I asked him what the

biggest thing he’d ever sewn back into

place was.

“Arms,” he said. “And legs. I had a

farmer in a while back and I had to sew

his severed foot to what was left of his

hand to help his hand regrow. Then

there was a woman whose horse had

bitten off her ear. Luckily, it had spat it

out, so we were able to reattach it.”

As he began to repair my numb

thumb he told me about a chap who’d

lost all four fingers. “He had the word

‘hate’ tattooed on them and I’m afraid I

sewed them on the wrong way round, so

afterwards it said ‘eath’.” At this point I

became possibly the first person ever to

burst out laughing on an operating table.

But I’d have laughed more if it had been

the other hand. Because then he could

have done “vole”.

He was a funny man, and quick too,

because in just half an hour he used 40

stitches to reattach the severed meat,

and half an hour after that I was in the

pub wondering if we could say that our

new crisps might actually “have the

great taste of Jeremy Clarkson”.

Today it’s a different story because the

anaesthetic is beginning to wear off and

it hurts like a bastard. And it’s going to

continue hurting, apparently, until

Christmas Day.

Speaking of which, have a happy one,

and think of me sitting here, with a

thumb full of more ingredients than a

pizza, unable to open any of my presents

or operate a corkscrew.

The opposable

thumb is all that

separates us from

goats. So I did as

the doctor told me

gauze and the Gorilla tape and

examining the wound. “Well, you can’t

just leave it, because that’s not going to

get better on its own,” she said.

The doc explained that I could lose

the use of it, and since the opposable

Jeremy

Clarkson

I’ve a new

rule of

thumb —

try not to

chop it off

T

here was an awful lot of news

to digest last week, but all I

could think about was the

seemingly never-ending list

of things I can’t do without a

functioning right thumb. I

can’t operate scissors to get a

Covid tester out of its packet.

I can’t do up button-flied

trousers. I can’t open a door.

I can’t sign my name, and I can’t even

wipe my bottom.

There are other things I’ve forgotten

about, I’m sure, because all I can do as I

sit here now is think: “God almighty. My

thumb hurts so much.”

The story started on Monday morning

with my decision to practise making

chilli-flavoured crisps that Lisa could sell

in the farm shop. I had the certified

kitchen and a selection of machines that

would peel the potatoes, dehydrate the

chillies and seal the bags. I also had a

machine that would slice the potatoes,

but I didn’t know that, so I ended up

using something called a mandolin.

It’s like an upside-down carpenter’s

plane, and here’s what happens. You

slide the potato along it and the razor-

sharp blade takes a slice off the bottom.

Then you slide it again and it takes

another. And you keep doing this, with

much vigour, until eventually your

thumb is in the firing line and it take a

slice off that. A big slice. A crisp-sized

slice.

I turned and plunged the wound into

a stream of icy spring water, which was a

mistake because bone is normally

surrounded by warm blood and flesh.

It’s unused to coming into contact with

anything cold and responds by sending a

message to the mouth suggesting it says

“f***” a lot.

At this point Lisa noticed that under

the mandolin, among the slices of

potato, there was a piece of meat. It was

like a miniature pork chop, about 2cm

long, 1cm wide and 3mm thick. And, yes,

it was half my thumb.

At the precise moment we worked

this out, poor Lisa gasped and dropped

it on the floor. But as she’s a level-headed

girl, she quickly came to her senses and

realised that if she could pick it up again

in less than ten seconds, it would still be

clean.

So that’s what she did, plonking it

back in the hole on my thumb. And that

would have been fine, save for the fact

that moments earlier she’d been mixing

some dried Carolina reaper chillies into

a blend of salt and garlic.

Now, you may know that a chilli that

scores a record 2.2 million on the

Scoville scale can cause a fair bit of

irritation when taken orally, but this is

nothing compared with what it does

when it’s applied to an open wound,

along with a dash of salt for extra agony.

You may have heard the scream from

where you were. Even if you were in

Stuttgart.

Certainly our on-site medic heard it.

He arrived in the kitchen in an instant,

and, even though he’s technically a

fireman, he saw there was a lot of blood

and sensibly dressed the wound straight

away, holding the chilli-and-salt-

sprinkled mini pork chop in place with a

lot of gauze and Gorilla tape.

As I then started to feel a bit dizzy, we

decided I should go to a hospital, but this

was a problem because just 14 hours

earlier Boris had popped up on BBC1 to

tell everyone that a tidal wave of

Omicron was on its way and that

everyone should get a booster jab

immediately.

I therefore didn’t want to take up the

time of anyone who was qualified to

administer the vaccine, so instead I

called a local doctor firm that isn’t

allowed to administer jabs. Because it’s

private and we live in communistical

times. And soon a doc was cutting off the