Jealousy takes many forms, it has many faces. Not a one of them is beautiful.
I know. Once, in a moment when I was having jealous feelings about a woman named Dawn
with whom I was deeply in love, I was expressing that to her, and she said to me, very quietly,
“Neale, this is not a very attractive part of you.”
I never forgot that. It was stated so simply, without emotion.
It was just a matter of fact. There was no argument about what I had just said, and no lengthy
discu55~0~ about what she had just said. She just put that thought out into the room. It was
shattering.
Dawn gave you a great gift.
Yes, she did. Still, jealousy has been hard for me to get over. Just when I think I’m rid of it at
last, here comes more. It’s like it’s in hiding, and I don’t even know that it’s there. In fact, I
swear that it’s not there. And then, boom, there it is.
I think I experience less of it now, but if I said that I don’t ever feel any, I’d be lying.
You’re working on it, that’s enough. You’re recognizing it for what it is, and that’s good.
But how can I get rid of it? I know some people who actually have gotten rid of it, completely.
How do they do that? I want to do that!
You mean you’re jealous of people with no jealousy?
That’s pretty funny.
Cute. You’re cute, You know that?
Of course I do. What do you think keeps Me going?
Okay, so what’s the answer?
Get rid of your idea that happiness depends on anything outside of yourself, and you will get
rid of jealousy. Get rid of your thought that love is about what you get in trade for what you
give, and you will get rid of jealousy. Get rid of your claim on any other person’s time or
energy or resources or love, and you will get rid of jealousy.
Yes, but how do I do that?
Live your life for a new reason. Understand that its purpose has nothing to do with what you
get out of it, and everything to do with what you put into it. This is also true of relationships.
The purpose of life is to create your Self anew, in the next grandest version of the greatest
vision ever you held about Who You Are. It is to announce and become, express and fulfill,
experience and know your true Self.
This requires nothing of the other people in your life— or any other person in particular. That
is why you can love others without requiring anything of them.