lSI [ 1947 ]
teachers are so scarce that I couldn't get anyone else for maths and
physics.) But although he went on with his criticisms he was loyal in this
way, that he didn't ever speak to the kids about me. I sacked him, telling
him that although he taught well he was too much of a luxury for S'hill,
for outside his 41h hours daily teaching he never mended a chair or
sawed firefood or played with the kids, in short as a community man
he was useless. I was not honest enough to add : "And also you are
sacked because you tire me to death with your endless Warums [whys]
and talk."
My own view is that he needs much more veg.-T. although I wonder if
his deadly serious attitude to life is beyond mending. I can't like him.
Can't laugh with him, there is something calculating in him that baffles
me. I think of all his neurotic mystery-making with his assumed name
etc. A lot of Verfolgungswahn [persecution mania] in him I feel. Asked
him about the Akku. "Hasn't one been sent from Orgonon?" he asked in
surprise. I said no, and he said O.K. we'll make one for you in about 3
weeks, double ply of metal and wood. Price £ 12. I said O.K. for we
need one badly.
B's photo snaps were fine. You don't look a day older, man, and lIse
looks the kind of woman it will be good to meet, while the kid looks
just grand, although nowadays as a father of a girl I rather despise mere
boy brats of course.
This money Frage [question] is most tiresome. Shortly I have to make
four long tiresome journeys to the north of England to lecture, just to
make some money. I have just had my report from my Accountant for
last year. The loss is £ 1 100, but that is partly due to expenses of moving
from Wales, extra repairs etc. Still the dead loss is over £400 and that
can't go on. The type of parent that believes in S'hill is poor middle
class, and although every new pupil is paying well, I have many old ones
who pay nothing at all or a few shillings weekly, and I can't chuck them
out. So that this trip to U.S.A. has an anxious side that I don't like. In
winter I could have tried to arrange a few lectures there to raise our
passage money, but lectures don't happen in summer. Things are to be
worse, for it seems we are importing millions of pounds more than we
are exporting, and prices here are phantastic ...
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