Summerhill School
Leiston, Suffolk
My dear Reich,
January 13, 1956Your Xmas card arrived today stamped "insufficiently stamped
for air mail." I was wondering at my end what had happened to you,
not hearing from you. For myself I've been stagnating, vegetating for
weeks with little interest in anything. I feel so out of touch with what
you are doing. The orgone field has receded from my view.
Some weeks ago I wrote to the U.S.A. embassy asking if my ban was
perpetual, for if not I'd like to make a trip to U.S.A. next summer to
see my co-workers. They replied that I should come and have a talk with
the consul "to see if you can qualify for a visa." I resent the word
qualify, but I'll go. It would sure be great to see you again, my friend,
and so many others, but I don't know how I can get anything organised.
For of course without earned dollars I can't come. I'd have to have
lectures, conscious of the fact that I have nothing new to say these days.
I am beginning to find life rather sad. Partly the time of the year,
the dark damp days of an English January; I hope that hope will return
with spring. I get much more easily worried about shortness of cash too.
To work for so many years and see red ink in the bank all the time is
depressing.
We should never be proud of our children. Zoe now nine will eat
nothing but bread and potatoes, refuses all greens and most fruits.
Bockbeinig [Pigheaded] about it too. She gets catarrh and ear trouble
and looks pasty-faced ... and one can't do a damn thing about it. Self-
401