one not in compliance with traditional Jewish law); a Jewish boy at 13 who has not publicly celebrated
becoming a Bar Mitzvah is still fully subject to all the expectations for a Jewish adult. The mikveh or ritual
bath and water generally is a part of many lifecycle events. Converts to Judaism immerse in the mikveh, as
do many brides (and grooms) before their weddings. Being born Jewish carries with it an identity that ritual
can reinforce but does not create from whole cloth.
Jewish lifecycle ritual is a separation of ritual generally, which among other things communicates and
strength group values and norms, helps relieve tensions in moments of transition, promotes family and group
bonds, and provides public expressions for personal life passages.
At their best, the Jews say Jewish lifecycle ceremonies can:
Guide to see the deeper meaning, even YHWH's presence, in the ordinary, and sanctify it.
Help to respond to life changes as more than biological or legal events, and enable Jews to sanctify their
days and years.
Tell what to do and say at important moments.
Bring out of a focus only on self and family into connection with YHWH, with the Jewish people, and with
Jewish tradition.
Connect Jews to the unseen presences of those that have come before them, and even those who will come
after them.
Foster not just personal or family identity, but also Jewish identity.
Connect them with what they believe as a people to be of lasting and profound significance.
It is particularly striking the extent to which many requirements for Jewish lifecycle events reinforce finding
personal and family meaning in the context of community. Ritual circumcision, marriage, recitation of the
Mourner's Kaddish – even celebrating becoming a Bar or Bat Mitvah (for a boy or girl) in the context of
congregational worship services, as is very common in most communities – all these require a minyan, a
quorum of 10 grown ups, which transforms a group of Jews into a symbolic – and actual – community.
Life Cycles Include:
Brit Milah – Bris (Circumcision)
This is the Covenant that was made with Abraham in Gen 12. To bless the Jewish people, and through them,
all nations.
Baby Naming:
This is the naming and dedication of a child, with vows to pray for and support this child in the community of
faith.
Pidyon HaBen (Redemption of the first born):
The ceremony of redemption whereby the child is seen as belonging to YHWH, but borrowed for awhile.
Upsheren:
It isn't clear exactly when the custom of upsheren started. There are those who say that the practice of
upsheren is alluded to in Talmud Yerushalmi, Pe'ah 1:4 and Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim 14.
The Shalos Utshuvos Arugas Habosem (Responsa 210) explains that "A person is compared to the tree of
the field (Devorim 20:19)‖. Just like it is forbidden to benefit from the fruit of a tree for the first three years, the
fruit is considered Orlah; so, too, we do not cut the hair of a child until he is three years old.
The Jews attach such importance to upsheren because that is when the child wears peyos for the first time.
Peyos physically distinguishes the Jew from the non-Jew, so by celebrating the upsheren we are showing
how happy we are that they are Jews and distinct from all the other nations. Additionally, the upsheren is the
time when we start educating the child with other mitzvos (commandments) as well (tzitzits, yarmulke,
brachos and more). This, too, is a cause for celebration.
There are no customary prayers to be said at an upsherin. It's really pretty simple. A party is arranged and
the boy is dressed in tzitzis and kippah and everyone takes a turn at cutting his hair and leaving payos. As by
every Jewish function, someone is honoured to speak words of Torah.
Bar & Bat Mitzvah: