APRIL 11
What is essential does not die but clarifies.
—THORNTON WILDEROne of the ways we can enrich our lives after a great loss is
to sink ourselves in the study of that loved one’s past. Now
that he or she is no longer with us in the physical sense, we
begin to understand in a new way the life of the one we love
who has died. What were the silent spaces in that life like?
Perhaps we can only conjecture, using our understanding
of the person and what little we may know of particular
periods in his or her life. But we can sit quietly and let our
imagination play. What was that person’s early childhood
like? Are there old photos? Old mementos? What can they
tell us? Why was this particular handkerchief saved, this
bunch of dried flowers?
While our memory of the person and the stories he or she
told us are still fresh, are there things we could write down
to preserve those stories for the person’s descendants? A
dear friend whose brother died wrote for his children an
account of her years growing up with this beloved brother.
What a treasured gift for them! And what a cherished jour-
ney of remembrance for her.
It is a wonderful and astonishing comfort to rediscover my lost
love.