APRIL 18
When I put the key into the apartment door I had a moment
of panic and stood hesitatingly on the doorstep, until I felt
clearly a “Welcome home” emanating from inside. The sun
was shining and a neighbor, who had heard me come in,
called out to offer a cup of tea. In spite of the emptiness and
the sense of desolation, it was a home-coming and the begin-
ning of a new life.
—LILY PINCUSHow hard it is to reenter the accustomed world when a
loved one has gone. The empty space is much more conspicu-
ous than if one were to go to a strange land. Our son, return-
ing from college, found his sister’s loss much more consum-
ing of his energy than when he was away at school. That
landscape had never contained her. But this was where he
had known her, been with her day by day, year after year.
Yet we must face down our demons and reenter these
accustomed places of our daily lives, or we will never incor-
porate this event into our lives.
There is a sense of achievement, too, of having gone down
to the bone, faced the worst. This is where our life together
took place. This is where our accommodation to the truth
must be made. Then we can begin to rebuild.
I will enter the hallowed places of my life resolutely, and without
fear.