APRIL 23
The sun was warm but the wind was chill.
You know how it is with an April day
When the sun is out and the wind is still,
You’re one month on in the middle of May.
But if you so much as dare to speak,
A cloud comes over the sunlit arch,
A wind comes off a frozen peak,—ROBERT FROSTSo it is with the weather of grieving. One moment we’ll be
feeling good, moving on in some productive activity—or
some nonproductive activity (one doesn’t always have to
be productive!)—and something will happen to bring back
the grief as though it were all fresh. Maybe it’s a song, a
passage in a book, a scene in a movie. Sometimes the sheer
beauty of the world can move us to tears, and part of the
poignancy of that moment is how much we miss the one
who cannot share it with us.
These sudden flashes back into intense grief will grow
farther apart. We’ll get over them more quickly. But we’ll
probably never be free of them—and wouldn’t want to be.
They preserve for us our connection with the one we love.
As for leaps forward into happy times? I remember my
joy when I learned my first grandchild was on the way!
The ups and downs of “inner weather” are part of my healing.
And you’re two months back in the middle of March ......