JUNE 2
Our joys as winged dreams do fly;
Why then should sorrow last?
Since grief but aggravates thy loss,
Grieve not for what is past.
—THOMAS PERCYDoes grief aggravate our loss?
There is a delicate balance at stake here.
On the one hand, we need to pay attention to grief, to
grieve our way through the valley of loss, or we will never
be able to assimilate the loss, to be whole people again. On
the other hand, we need not linger overlong on the way, or
we may get stuck and never come through.
If we find ourselves repeatedly dwelling for a long time
on how bad we feel, we might try instead to dwell on some
of the joys that fly “as winged dreams”—wonderful times
we have shared with our loved one. Or times that have
nothing to do with him or her but have brought us joy.
We do have some control over how long we let our atten-
tion linger. So let’s not allow the joyous subjects to get away
too soon. We need them!
From time to time I will step into my rooms of joyous memor-
ies—and close the doors!