JUNE 15
We found that our circle of friends shifted...We were sur-
prised and disappointed that people we thought were good
friends became distant, uneasy, and seemed unable to help
us. Others who were casual acquaintances became suddenly
close, sustainers of life for us. Grief changes the rules, and
sometimes rearranges the combinations.
—MARTHA WHITMORE
HICKMANPeople often comment that those who feel most uneasy in
speaking with us about our loss are protecting themselves
from their own fear of loss and death.
There is nothing “right” or “wrong” about their attitude.
They may not be aware of their own anxiety.
But it can be puzzling to us that people on whom we have
relied in the past seem not as warmly supportive, as under-
standing, or as willing to be close as we would have expec-
ted. It’s not their “fault.” But it’s important to recognize it’s
not our “fault,” either. Circumstances change. Life deals us
different experiences. So we may find ourselves drawn to
former almost-strangers whose experiences echo our own.
On my life journey I will have many companions. I am grateful
for my friends—old and new—and for the ways in which our
stories draw us close.