JUNE 28
She taught me that grief is a time to be lived through, exper-
ienced fully, and that the heavens will not fall if I give voice
to my anger against God in such a time.
—ELIZABETH WATSONSometimes it’s hard to recognize that anger is part of our
grief. Maybe we’re angry at the doctors and nurses for not
making our loved one well. Or for not alleviating the suffer-
ing. Or for not doing a better job of keeping us informed.
Maybe we’re angry at the loved one—for not trying hard
enough to get well, or for not taking better care of himself
or herself. Or just for leaving us. Maybe we’re angry with
ourselves. Or angry at God.
Even when we don’t hold a particular person—or
God—responsible for the death of our loved one, we’re
angry. Our life has been disrupted. We have been deprived
of something—even if it’s only peace—that we wanted.
As with other aspects of grief, we need to recognize anger
and express it. We may need to be careful with relatives and
friends. But we don’t need to worry about God—we can let
it fly.
My anger is legitimate, and will burn away sooner if I acknowledge
and express it.