JULY 12
Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver.
—SOPHOCLESDon’t we know it! Sometimes we can’t seem to decide the
simplest thing. Or we decide and then agonizingly reflect
on the decision: was it wise? We rename all the alternatives,
chasing them around as though the decision were not
already irrevocably made.
It’s no wonder. Our world has become suddenly dis-
ordered by the death of our loved one, so why wouldn’t
disorder spread over everything else? The wonder is that
we are able to act systematically about anything, not that
we occasionally get confused.
This will pass, of course. We will begin to feel grounded
again. In the meantime, we can accept this time of flux and
try to postpone major decisions—or get friends to consult
with us about them. In the early stages of grief is no time to
sell the house or decide on a major vocational change!
Of course my mind sometimes plays tricks on me. I’ll regain my
steadiness and good sense after a while.