AUGUST 11
The relationships of our life are a system, an interlocking
network, and when one element is affected, so are they all.
The death of a [loved one] will unbalance the whole lot...It
is a good time to pay attention, to make these relationships
as good as possible. If we are buoyed and fed by satisfying
relationships now, there is less other-directed energy floating
around, trying to attach in unrealistic ways to the one who
is gone.
—MARTHA WHITMORE
HICKMANIt is well known that after the loss of a loved one, a person’s
resistance to physical illness is often lowered. It is also true
that such a loss can bring to the surface existing weaknesses
in the emotional relationships within the family. In a case
as extreme as the death of a child, one expert estimates that
75 percent of the marriages in which the death occurs exper-
ience serious trouble within a year.
So we would be well advised to watch for danger signals
and, if we sense serious trouble, to seek professional help.
We have lost enough already—and if we can negotiate the
shoals and rapids of this experience, our relationships not
only will survive, but will be stronger and richer for what
we have been through together.
In going through this rough time, I will face honestly what other
strains it may expose in the fabric of my life, and consider getting
help if I need it.