AUGUST 19
Time elapses differently for the bereaved. It creeps. Every
minute had been so fraught, so filled with emotions, events
and high drama, that each day had passed like a week.
—RICHARD MERYMANOne reason the future looms so dark when we are confronted
with loss is this slow motion of time. We are like children
for whom a next birthday seems a lifetime away—life is not
routine at all and there is so much new experience to go
through.
Only unlike children for whom unfolding life is potentially
full of wonder and surprise, we see ahead a succession of
days colored by grief. We know how our first days of grief
seemed to take forever. We look ahead and think, Will it
always be like that? We cannot bear to think of one week.
But a month? A year? A decade, even?
Mercifully, this kind of time expansion will not last. Time
will begin to slip away as it did before our loss. The sharp
edges of grief will soften and feelings that once struck us
like a physical blow will be less frequent. We will be on our
way. Time will cease to be our enemy and become our friend
again.
Today is its own time. Tomorrow’s time will be different and I
won’t try to second-guess it.