AUGUST 26
Be in the world as if you were a stranger or a traveller: when
evening time comes, expect not the morning; and when
morning time comes expect not the evening; and prepare as
long as you are in good health for sickness, and so long as
you are alive for death.
—AN-NAWAWI [FROM
MUSLIM SCRIPTURE]It would indeed be hard to bear if the first intensity of grief
went on and on and on, year after year. But that doesn’t
happen. We do begin to feel better. This may startle us. We
may even wonder whether we are being disloyal to our love.
How foolish! What would our loved one want more than to
see us lifted from our sadness? And indeed, the truth of who
the person was can come to us much better once some of
the grief has passed. In the early stages we are preoccupied
not with the memory of our loved one, but with our own
pain.
Particularly in the early stages of grieving, let’s not think
ourselves into a future we cannot know. Whatever else it is,
will surely be different from our frantic imaginings.
A Quaker discourse comes to mind on “being present
where you are.” It is good advice at any time, but especially
now.
I will try to be present to this day.