Healing After Loss

SEPTEMBER 22

Exhaust the little moment. Soon it dies.

And be it gash or gold it will not come

Again in this identical disguise.

—GWENDOLYN BROOKS

For a while we are so infused with grief over our loss that
we can think of little else. Everything else seems an intrusion.
If people call us on other matters, we think, Don’t you know
there isn’t space in my life for that right now?
But grieving can be habit-forming, and after a while we
need to move on. Retreat into our own small world and its
painful security will not protect us from further dangers.
But it may keep us from savoring the world—its beauties
and relationships, which are also passing, and which our
loved one would want us to enjoy to the full.
My small son once endeared himself to me by saying, as
he stood at the doorway of my room, where I was, atypically,
still in bed, “How can I have any fun downstairs when I
know you’re up here with the flu?” Gratifying, but I
wouldn’t have wanted him to spend the morning moping
around—and I’m sure he didn’t!

As I am able, I will reenter the world around me with courage and
expectation.