SEPTEMBER 26
The pattern has shifted...I am no longer anybody’s child. I
have become the Grandmother...
The rhythm of the fugue alters; the themes cross and re-
cross. The melody seems unfamiliar to me, but I will learn
it.
—MADELEINE L’ENGLEThe whole system of our lives is disturbed by loss. We have
to learn new patterns—as a flooded river when it retreats
leaves behind a new configuration of tributaries.
It will take us a while to get used to all this. At times we
may forget and begin to respond the way we did. How many
tickets for the play? How many places at the table? How
many fresh towels for the bathroom? Small matters, but
quickening reminders.
The more profound shifts of who we are in the world will
last a lot longer. If we have lost a parent, we have lost part
of our buffer against being the “older generation,” with all
that implies. If we have lost a child, a whole future together
is wiped away. If a sibling, one of the sharers of our early
years is gone.
Though it may be heavy going for a while, we will realign
our patterns of thought and expectation so we can be
grateful for the life—and the memories—that we have.
Though the waters of change swirl around me, still I am safe.