OCTOBER 16
Excessive mourning is nonproductive, someone remarks. A
social inconvenience, downright inconsiderate in the public
eye. Life, according to my Orientalist friend, is a passage, a
corridor, and she bids me to rid myself of morbid brooding.
Bullshit! I’m angry.
—TOBY TALBOTNo one wants to be inconsiderate of others, but right now
it’s more important that we not be inconsiderate of ourselves.
We have been wounded. We need care. We need care from
others, and we need care from ourselves. No one but we
ourselves can know which is the best way to express our
grief. And if we’re angry—and it’s legitimate to be angry at
this blow that has been dealt us—we need to express our
anger.
So if we make other people uncomfortable, or if we seem
to be “more upset” than they think we should be—that’s
their problem. It’s time for us to move on to other friends
who are more understanding.
I will not be intimidated by the opinions of others on how I should
be feeling. I am inside my head and heart, and I know.