OCTOBER 27
My grief and pain are mine. I have earned them. They are
part of me. Only in feeling them do I open myself to the les-
sons they can teach.
—ANNE WILSON SCHAEFWhen our whole sense of ourselves seems wounded and
vulnerable, one of the ways we can claim our rightful pres-
ence in the world is to claim the legitimacy of our grief. That
is who we are right now, and it is a valid way to be. We
cannot escape the reality of ourselves as grieving persons
any more than we can escape the reality of the death of the
loved one.
In time we will see ourselves again in broader terms. But
if, for a while, grieving is the main aspect of our being, then
so be it. We may well move away from it sooner if we em-
brace that reality now. We don’t owe anyone else an apology.
We don’t owe ourselves one, either.
Only by living my grief fully will I be able to walk through it and
learn what it has to tell me.