JANUARY 22
Part of the process [of rebirth] is the growth of a new rela-
tionship with the dead...that veritable ami mort Saint-Exupéry
speaks of. Like all gestation, it is a slow, dark, wordless
process. While it is taking place one is painfully vulnerable.
One must guard and protect the new life growing with-
in—like a child.
—ANNE MORROW
LINDBERGHIt is over shaky ground—this journey between the relation-
ship we had when the person was alive and the relationship
we come to have with the dead. We don’t know what to
expect, don’t even know what we’re looking for. Are we
fooling ourselves, conjuring up the possibility that we can
have a relationship with someone who’s died?
Perhaps it is a little like a first-time parent who, anxious
that something may go wrong, has to keep going back and
checking on the baby. Is the baby all right? Still breathing?
Still peacefully sleeping?
After a while the parent becomes more confident. The
baby really is there, and safe, but as with other miracles, this
miracle of birth takes getting used to. Perhaps in like manner
comes the slowly dawning confidence that in the mystery
of living, it is possible to have an ongoing relationship with
the dead.
I will open my heart in trust that, in ways I do not now under-
stand, my loved one will continue to be present in my life.