MARCH 8
’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
—ALFRED TENNYSONThese lines are often used to refer to lovers, but they speak
to all of us who have lost someone we loved.
A father whose daughter had died said to his pastor,
“We’d rather have had her for those years than not at all,
but there was a while when grief took over.”
Those of us who have been through the experience of
sudden, untimely death can relate to both parts of that
statement. Of course we could not wish the child had never
lived. But there is a time when the pain is all we know.
Yet even when the pain is most severe, we know we would
never exchange our life for another’s. A dear friend and
mentor, who had had a distinguished career but had never
had children, wrote to me after our daughter’s death. Along
with her condolences and shared sadness, she wrote, “Some
people never have that much to lose.” I couldn’t help
thinking she was talking about herself, and the grief I felt
for her at that moment made me aware again of how much
I had been given.
Even in my pain, I hold close to my heart the gift of my loved one’s
life.