Healing After Loss

(coco) #1

MARCH 25


It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden
of the day. It is when tomorrow’s burden is added to the
burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear.
Never load yourselves so, my friends.
—GEORGE MACDONALD

How can we not look ahead to all those days, months, and
years when we will be without the one we loved?
There are times, surely, when we can’t help ourselves.
But we don’t have to do it all the time. Perhaps we can adopt
the pattern recommended in the “rational-emotive” ap-
proach.
Allow ourselves a certain half hour of the day when we
will give our grief full sway—and even allow ourselves to
anticipate the long future without our loved one. At other
times, when those thoughts come knocking, we turn them
away—Not now, this isn’t the time for you. Come back at five-
thirty—then you can have my full attention.
When five-thirty comes, we should be as good as our
word: if those sad thoughts come rolling in, let them. When
the half hour is up, inwardly change the subject and busy
yourself with something else.


I am not trying to overlook these feelings of long-term grief—just
to keep my life from being inundated by them.

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