was quick! A horse has been stolen,
and my first job is to recover it. Thus
begins my career in law enforcement,
which results in an entire day chasing
one damn horse all over the map. I’m
not sure if it’s the mod or if it’s me,
but the act of calming the horse just
isn’t working. When I get anywhere
near the horse, it bolts. I try riding
my own horse after it, I try sneaking,
I try walking slowly and calmly, I call
to it, but the horse is so damn skittish
I simply can’t catch it. This isn’t the
sort of crime I’d pictured myself
facing when I signed up. Chasing
horse thieves down, sure. Simply
following a runaway horse? No. I
eventually give up, go back to the jail
and go off duty. Not a great first day.
The next day is more promising.
Another citizen runs up just as I go
on duty, telling me there’s a wanted
killer in town. The map shows a
search area, which covers almost the
entire town, as well as a few small
pips on my minimap indicating
citizens who might have some
information. I stroll around, ordering
people to stop what they’re doing and
talk to me through a new interface
added by the mod. Sometimes they’ll
give me information about what the
fugitive looks like. Other times they’ll
give me a location. Sometimes they’ll
simply refuse to help even if I
threaten them. But once I have two
pieces of information about the
fugitive, they’re revealed on my map
and I can chase them down.
GRAVE MISTAKES
I locate the first fugitive thanks to a
woman standing in the town’s
graveyard. It seems a bit rude to
interrogate a mourner, but the law
doesn’t sleep. She tips me off to a guy
near the saloon. But as I creep
around the back of the building, he
comes down the steps and pops me
right in the dome. I’m dead! My
career as a lawman so far consists of
failing to catch a horse and getting
shot in the face. Great.
After respawning, I take another
shift, and use another feature of the
mod: the ability to recruit a partner. I
walk over to a fellow sheriff and tell
him to follow me as we begin
searching for another fugitive in
town. This time I narrow down the
culprit’s location to the graveyard,
and wouldn’t you know it? It’s the
same woman who gave me the tip
about yesterday’s fugitive. She opens
fire when we get close, so I sprint
around the corner and get out my
lasso, determined to make my first
arrest. I nab her with my rope but my
partner didn’t get the memo. He
keeps shooting and kills her.
Cloaked in failure, and feeling
Tumbleweed is a bit too small to fight
crime when there’s only a handful of
people who can turn out to secretly
be villains, I head to Blackwater,
more of a proper town. Maybe here
I’ll get a little more action and achance to actually arrest someone
properly. The fates aren’t with me,
however. A woman runs into the
sheriff’s office to report a fugitive,
and I start interrogating the locals for
clues. One fella won’t cooperate, but
two more give me the perp’s
appearance and location. Which
turns out to be right across the street
from where I’m standing, and he
immediately opens fire. I ready my
lasso to arrest him, but some
enterprising citizen takes out a gun
and shoots the suspect in the head.
Sheesh! With citizens as trigger-
happy as that, does the town even
need an extra sheriff?
The next crime is a group of
armed outlaws, who strangely spawnin the water and slowly swim to
shore while I patiently wait for them
with my rifle. It’s a decent gunfight,
and I manage to lasso the final outlaw
and ride him back into town on my
horse. I throw him in a jail cell, but
having failed to frisk him, he pulls out
a knife and stabs me. I want to be
very clear that my intent was to
punch him. And I do punch him!
Unfortunately, I am also holding a
knife, so my punch kills him.
Whoops. I lock the cell door and
slink away, with yet another arrest
that’s been utterly tarnished.ARCANE LAW
OK, enough small-town blues. It’s
time for the big city – St Denis. I have
in no way earned my promotion, but
I’m taking it anyway. And here, things
finally begin going my way. Another
fugitive investigation leads me to find
the suspect calmly eating dinner in
the saloon, and me and my partner
get to approach his table with our
guns drawn, tell him to put his hands
up, frisk him for weapons, then tie
him up and call for backup (by
blowing my police whistle) to take
him away on their horse. It’s like an
episode of Law and Order, except the
cops on that show use handcuffs
instead of lassos and usually don’t
take suspects away on horseback. But
most importantly, I’ve finally arrested
someone and there wasn’t any
bloodshed! Chalk that one up!
Not all suspects go so quietly, and
there are still a few shootouts that
day. But one crook leads me on a
nonviolent chase through the city –
he’s not shooting but he’s not
surrendering, either – letting me
sprint down the sidewalks knocking
people out of my way until I finally
put a single round in his leg, and then
tie him up. That was fun!
The shootouts in St Denis are
usually exciting, too. With so many
(relatively) tall buildings, narrow
alleyways and gated areas, the crooks
can appear on rooftops, behind
fences and inside buildings. It’s fun
racing through the city while my
partner follows, taking cover and
trading hot lead with the outlaws
because you never know exactly
where they’ll appear. I’m killed once,
my partner was also gunned down,
and a few times we wound up with
wounds but still come out ahead.
So if you try RDRFR yourself, I’d
definitely suggest the St Denis beat. It
just works much better there than in
the smaller, scruffier towns. Just stop
by the sheriff’s office and go on duty
for a few hours. And when you’re
done, you can go right back to being
the outlaw in the equation.MAJOR MODS, ANALYSED
MOD SPOTLIGHT
MY CAREER AS A
LAWMAN SO FAR
CONSISTS OF FAILING
TO CATCH A HORSE AND
GETTING SHOTPOLICE SQUAD: IN COLOR
Our favourite video game law enforcers
HARRY
DISCO ELYSIUM
This detective who can die
from kicking a mailbox
won a place in our hearts.MA X PAYNE
MA X PAYNE
He’s incredibly expressive
yet only has the one very
pained expression.COLE PHELPS
L.A. NOIRE
Who could dislike the star
of the ‘Doubt’ meme and
his rubbery face?SAM & MAX
A BUNCHA GAMES
The freelance police
always tackle the biggest
and strangest cases.