fit almost every description across the personality spectrum:
- Aaron, 30, a chemical engineer, is an introvert with a strong
dislike of social events. He spends most of his free time
working, reading, or with his brothers and parents and finds it
hard to make new connections. He had his first sexual
experience two years ago. - Brenda, 27, a movie producer, acts as a social hub, knows
everyone, and is always where the action is. She had one
serious boyfriend from age 18 to 24 and has been seeing other
people ever since. - Gregory, 50, an electrical engineer and divorced father of two, is
very outgoing and easy to get along with. He’s still licking his
wounds from his failed marriage and is on the lookout for wife
number two.
Secures come in every possible shape, size, and form. Something
else distinguishes them that is harder to recognize, at least at first.
Janet, 41, experienced that “something” firsthand:
Overwhelmed by the amount of work she’d left unfinished before the
weekend, Janet woke up Monday morning in a state of dread. She
was convinced that there was no way she’d ever get through the
enormous pile on her desk, and her situation made her feel
incompetent. She turned to her husband, Stan, who was lying in bed
besides her and—out of nowhere—told him how disappointed she
was with his business’s progress and how worried she was that he
wasn’t going to make it. Stan was taken aback, but responded to
Janet’s attack without any visible trace of animosity. “I understand that
you’re frightened and there might be some comfort for you if I feel
frightened too, but if you’re trying to encourage me to be more efficient
at work—which you often do—this isn’t the best way to do it.”
Janet was dumbfounded. She knew he was right—that she’d been
expressing only her own concerns. Seeing that she was tearful, Stan
offered to drive her to work. In the car, she apologized. She hadn’t
meant the stuff she’d said, but she was in such an emotional funk that
everything seemed dreary to her.
It was then that she realized what a wonderfully supportive husband