Ulysses
ways a favourite with the ladies.
BLOOM: (Squire of dames, in dinner jacket with watered-
silk facings, blue masonic badge in his buttonhole, black bow
and mother-of-pearl studs, a prismatic champagne glass tilt-
ed in his hand) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ireland,
home and beauty.
MRS BREEN: The dear dead days beyond recall. Love’s
old sweet song.
BLOOM: (Meaning fully dropping his voice) I confess
I’m teapot with curiosity to find out whether some person’s
something is a little teapot at present.
MRS BREEN: (Gushingly) Tremendously teapot! Lon-
don’s teapot and I’m simply teapot all over me! (She rubs
sides with him) After the parlour mystery games and the
crackers from the tree we sat on the staircase ottoman. Un-
der the mistletoe. Two is company.
BLOOM: (Wearing a purple Napoleon hat with an am-
ber halfmoon, his fingers and thumb passing slowly down to
her soft moist meaty palm which she surrenders gently) The
witching hour of night. I took the splinter out of this hand,
carefully, slowly. (Tenderly, as he slips on her finger a ruby
ring) Là ci darem la mano.
MRS BREEN: (In a onepiece evening frock executed in
moonlight blue, a tinsel sylph’s diadem on her brow with her
dancecard fallen beside her moonblue satin slipper, curves
her palm softly, breathing quickly) Voglio e non. You’re hot!
You’re scalding! The left hand nearest the heart.
BLOOM: When you made your present choice they said
it was beauty and the beast. I can never forgive you for that.