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bit about the laughing witch hand in hand I take exception
to, if I may ...
BEAUFOY: (His lip upcurled, smiles superciliously on the
court) You funny ass, you! You’re too beastly awfully weird
for words! I don’t think you need over excessively disincom-
modate yourself in that regard. My literary agent Mr J. B.
Pinker is in attendance. I presume, my lord, we shall receive
the usual witnesses’ fees, shan’t we? We are considerably out
of pocket over this bally pressman johnny, this jackdaw of
Rheims, who has not even been to a university.
BLOOM: (Indistinctly) University of life. Bad art.
BEAUFOY: (Shouts) It’s a damnably foul lie, showing the
moral rottenness of the man! (He extends his portfolio) We
have here damning evidence, the corpus delicti, my lord, a
specimen of my maturer work disfigured by the hallmark
of the beast.
A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY:
Moses, Moses, king of the jews,
Wiped his arse in the Daily News.BLOOM: (Bravely) Overdrawn.
BEAUFOY: You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the
horsepond, you rotter! (To the court) Why, look at the man’s
private life! Leading a quadruple existence! Street angel and
house devil. Not fit to be mentioned in mixed society! The
archconspirator of the age!
BLOOM: (To the court) And he, a bachelor, how ...
FIRST WATCH: The King versus Bloom. Call the wom-