R Review From Scalp to Soles 109
Many people exercise control over those elements with a great
deal of intent and awareness of their “audiences,” but some people
unintentionally send the wrong message. In reading body language,
therefore, you have to analyze intent as well as outcome. For ex-
ample, soldiers, strippers, and ex-cons used to be the only people I
knew who had tattoos. Now, tattoos are part of the body language
of youth. It is tribalism: the ability to go to a new place and adapt to
a new person because you are recognized as part of a group. Unfor-
tunately, some people still think that only soldiers, strippers, and ex-
cons have tattoos, and they project that in conversation with anyone
who has a tattoo. Not long ago, a couple of my Army students
blurted out “tramp stamp” when they saw a young woman’s lower-
back tattoo. In a rather heated conversation with the offenders, she
made it clear that it was nothing more than body art complimenting
her fashionable, hip-hugging jeans.
In learning to R.E.A.D., therefore, you will learn the relative
importance of what is on the body as well as what it does. As I did
with body parts, I’ll start with the scalp and quickly work down to
the toes in looking at body adornments.
Hairstyles offer great insights into intent. The woman who gives
me a flat top told me that people come in often and ask for a hair-
style that is impossible to deliver. They want a Mohawk even though
they have a receding hairline and bald spots, or they want long,
bouncy curls made out of fine, thin hair. They get mad at her when
she can’t deliver because they believe that if they want a particular
style, she should be able to create it. They want to send a message;
they insist on it, whether or not it makes sense.