116 I Can Read You Like a Book
In teaching body language, I categorize gestures that carry stan-
dard meanings into several categories: symbols, illustrators, regula-
tors, adaptors, and barriers. I also associate mirroring with this group
because it is a standard technique, which can be involuntary or inten-
tional, for forging a bond with someone. Symbols and mirroring
have their roots in culture, whereas the others are more universal
expressions. I’m going to put rituals in this discussion as well,
because they are gestures people repeat (they may be standard for
an entire culture or they may be standard for a single individual)
thatmay have enormous meaning, or they may have no meaning
whatsoever.Symbols
Symbols such as a kiss, sticking out your tongue, and waving
hello capture particular sentiments. Gestures similar to these are
learned expression of thought and can vary sharply from culture to
culture. In every case, though, they represent a whole thought and
convey a standard meaning as long as you replicate the context for
them. For example, if you ask me a question to which the answer is
yes, you will always understand that my nodding means yes, if the
context is correct:
ƒ I understand your language.
ƒ I am American and nodding means “yes” in my country.
ƒ The up-and-down movements in the nod are done in
relatively quick succession.