Filters: Sex and Other Misconceptions 185
These super-typical mannerisms and cultural differences still exist,
but outside of comedy clubs, it’s no longer acceptable to use them
to characterize a group. In an effort to honor diverse traditions and
not hurt anyone’s feelings—the long way of saying “be politically
correct”—we’ve shoved most of these down society’s linguistic
garbage disposal. Ah! But out of sight does not mean out of mind.
Though most of these have faded from public view, they still inhabit
our conscious and subconscious. The result is a powerful filter that
can blind the mind’s eye.
Projection is the most dangerous blinder you can put on, and its
real power derives from other things I talked about in this chapter—
prejudices rooted in culture and gender. You have to ask yourself
the question, “Which group of people am I biased against?” If you
say none, you are delusional. You may be prejudiced against 5’ 3 ”
blondes who went to Catholic school and have perfect grammar.
Not a bad group to most of us, but if you don’t like them, you must
identify your prejudice and look carefully at that group’s body
language if you want to communicate with them.
Other things can blind our vision as well, such as reading a
book by an expert and taking everything at face value without adapt-
ing it to fit your own mind, personality, and the situation. This
R.E.A.D. system means that you need to learn to look at a person
and decide what something means when that particular person does
it, and in a particular context. No book can do that. Relying on a
laundry list of gestures and drawing conclusions, such as “hands on
hips means...” are the worst kinds of projection.
What’s likely to really trip you up, though? Think back to the
“walking while thinking of a bad day” exercise. The emotional down