A Making It Personal 203
In short, everyone wanted to belong, and many of the people
who knew the traditions and had the right costumes—the people
others tried to emulate—included those I’d probably label sub-typical
in a different environment.
Antagonists
When a person is in a conflict of any type, the body language
will show it. How fluid can your behavior be when your mind is
rigidly set against the person you are standing next to? Not all
antagonists arouse a sense of conflict, however. Some cause pain
such as disappointment, frustration, or resentment.
That photo at the beginning of the chapter is my father, grand-
mother, and grandfather on one of my estranged grandfather’s
visits. He left weeks before my father was born and moved on to
various other pastures, remarrying every few years. Envision the
conflict and anger my grandmother felt when he finally showed up
again—and this photo was taken. Abandoned by him in 1938, she
was a devout Christian woman from the Deep South who suddenly
had complete responsibility for two sons while pregnant with a third.
My grandfather went out to get salt and came back when my
father was a teenager. Now what do the folded arms mean to you?
She had worked in the Georgia cotton fields to support her sons;
my grandmother was physically and emotionally strong and proud.
Why is he standing so cocky? Can we write him off as a callous
philanderer, a selfish and self-indulgent nomad? This is a man who,
at the age of 35, went ashore on D-Day with the 29th Infantry Division.
To some extent, that earned him the right to look cocky. Why does
the kid look quietly pleased? Well, he’s happy that dad is home.