244 I Can Read You Like a Book
In some cases, what makes life good is status. Hillary Clinton
and Donald Rumsfeld, as well as dozens of other people in the
political arena, share a quality of life, and it is played out in count-
less interactions in the world every day. This is the politics of jock-
eying for position. People go at each other until one loses. Each
enters the ring with an end score in mind, and has delineated what
he is willing to sacrifice to get the concession. Often, the “winner”
has the least invested in the argument; he can afford to take risks
because he has less to lose in the long run. He can be magnani-
mous in letting the other have the ostensible victory. A powerful
behind-the-scenes player is less likely to engage in this kind of open
warfare. Men and women will also approach this differently.Exercise
Watch a movie in which a mix of cultures and gen-
ders engage in confrontational behavior. A number of the James
Bond movies qualify. Sort the body language by culture and gender.
One way to tell if something is distinctly cultural is to envision some-
one with a different background using the same gesture. Would it
either not have the desired effect or be funny instead of threaten-
ing? A good example is the pre-attack stance of a martial arts ex-
pert and the accompanying “Hi-ya!” You wouldn’t run away if Chris
Rock does it in his comic, mocking style.
Open your eyes to the conversations that go on around you—
verbal and non-verbal. How much interaction occurs? How much