I Can Read You Like a Book : How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language

(Frankie) #1

254 I Can Read You Like a Book


builders will have nothing vested in any outcome other than the
alpha’s desired one. Maryann saw this play out in a silly company
fight over a logo. One faction wanted the logo in blue, and the other,
red. The coalition builder knew that his boss preferred red, but
someone from the blue faction casually caught the ear of the coa-
lition builder: “Maybe red really is better. It’s eye-catching. I mean,
you see it on stop signs, police cars—it really makes you take
notice.” As soon as the coalition builder mentioned stop signs and
police cars to the boss, he found lots of reasons to get people to
rally ’round the blue.
So far, everything I have talked about in this chapter is similar
to intrigue out of The Prince or Dangerous Liaisons, but it need
not be. Can I use these tactics when in the presence of harsh nego-
tiators? Yes. However, I much prefer the straight-forward approach
I will detail for you here.

Shut up
In a room full of experts, I can appear to know more about a
subject than you do if I sit long enough and listen. Here are the
steps:
ƒ I watch your body language and illustrators. That tells
me what really matters to each of you and what is ego.
ƒ I catch information from all of you.
ƒ At the end of two hours of wrangling, I have what I
need to begin the distillation process. I can boil down
the issues to the things all of you have said and agreed
on, but not heard.
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