The Steps to Reading Body Language 31
Read this question aloud: Would you prefer to lie?
What is the meaning? It could be an accusation, or asking about
a choice of relaxation. Whether in print or spoken, you cannot tell.
Should you be insulted if a person says this to you? Maybe you look
tired and don’t know it. How much of the meaning comes through
in the spoken words? How much of the meaning would the speaker
convey through body language? Would a slight drop of the brow or
scowl of the lips help you to understand? How about tone and
inflection? Emphasis on “you” carries a different sense from an
emphasis on “prefer.” How much do you think an accent or pro-
nunciation would affect comprehension of the meaning if you
simply heard the sentence on the radio?
Akin to our chimp cousins, we convey information on many
channels, and although we prefer to think of ourselves as so much
more, we respond to these signals as readily as our chimp cousins.
It means that someone who better understands the cues and
meanings can control the conversation in a way even Machiavelli
himself, with his humanist beliefs, could not imagine.
By missing the animal piece of communication—shrieks, limbs
flailing, eyes darting, and arched back—we reduce our ability to
comprehend. No language alone can reach the subtlety of spoken
language overlaid on effective non-verbal communication.
Body movement
The next question I ask in class that guides me to my step-by-step
instruction is: Who understands body language? I then move very