NLP At Work : The Difference That Makes the Difference in Business

Universal statements consist of words such as no one,

everyone, never, always, all, nothing. The speaker has

generalized specific experiences to make them true in all

circumstances. One way of responding would be to use the

generalization back to them as a question:

❏ Always?

❏ No one?

Alternative ways of responding would be to challenge the

detail behind the statement:

“She never listens to me.”

“How do you know that?” or “Has there ever been a time when

she did listen to you?”

These challenges reconnect the speaker with the reality of

their experience.

I was recently in discussion with a friend of mine who works as a

personal assistant. In this role she provides administrative support

for a team of senior managers. She had shown a high level of skill

in her ability to coach and facilitate others. I was discussing the

possibility of how she might use these skills to help the

management team introduce the changes they had talked about.

“Oh, I can’t do that,” she immediately replied. At some level

she had chosen to limit her potential in this context.

Can you imagine the managing director of a company or the

head of a country saying “I can't” when asked to consider the

future? They wouldn't last in that position for long.

Faced with “I can't,” what can you say? “What stops you?” is

one choice. This invites the speaker to identify and face up to

the reality of the obstacles, imagined or otherwise.

Another possibility is to ask, “What would happen if you

did?” This is a very powerful question. In its own right it can

empower people to go beyond the barriers they build for

themselves. However, when you ask the question, pay

attention to whether the speaker really answers it in their

thinking and in their speech. You may find that they answer

98 NLP AT WORK

STOPPERS AND

LIMITERS

“What would happen if you

did?”